A friend of mine told a story a few months ago that has stuck with me in that way that a story does. I keep seeing echoes of it everywhere. I see expressions and examples of the point he was making in the coaching that my clients need, in my own life and mindset, and in the stories I hear from the people around me.

He told a story about a family who came to him and said that another family had a terrible experience at their school. My friend was confused because he knew that family, and while they did experience a specific challenge, the end result of their journey was incredibly happy and content. He went for coffee with the family that he knew and gently asked some questions. “Why did you only tell the negative part of the story?” he said. “The part that created a bad impression for this other family, and why leave out the happy ending, where everything was resolved?”

“I don’t know.” Said his friend, a little sheepishly. “It’s just what came out of my mouth.”

In a world where words create reality for ourselves and the people around us, understanding what part of the story we are choosing to tell is the difference between creation and destruction; connection and alienation.

What you’ll learn in this episode about the story we tell:

• How it is a reflection of our self-concept and the beliefs we have about ourselves
• How it shows what lens we tend to take on circumstances
• How it impacts the health of our relationships, especially when we’re in a rut with someone in our lives
• The impact that the story we tell has on the ideas we’re trying to make real
• How to observe our story with compassion and non-judgment, so that we can actually make the changes we want to see
• Questions we can ask ourselves to make our story lens clear, and to question whether it’s the lens we actually want to have.

Mentioned in this episode

• Anthony Thomas and “A long way from the block”
• Nostalgia for now
• The Bloom Room

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

Zoe is in the middle of a conversation with her partner. She’s annoyed and frustrated and is reminded of a series of other things that she feels annoyed and frustrated about in her relationship. They’re all connected by the feeling of annoyance…like pulling on a string and finding all the examples connected to it. She wants to tell him about each and every one until…

All of the sudden she realizes something. The string connecting all of these annoying things is not actually him. Even though he’s there in each instance, HE is not actually the thread. SHE is. The thing that connects all of these instances of being annoyed is HER; the one feeling them. She’s the one experiencing all of these things as annoying. SHE is the common denominator, not her partner.

She doesn’t like feeling this way.

Her instinct is to tell him he’s responsible for ALL of it.

For all of the ways that he annoys her.

But once she realizes that she is actually the common thread, she pauses.

She remembers that describing the way she feels in detail is really a way of escaping the feeling. That it only makes the frustration bigger, and worse.

Describing it isn’t actually feeling it.

It’s running away from it.
And she’s not into running away.

So instead, she uses the practice.

Jose uses the practice when he realizes the eggshells he’s walking on aren’t her eggshells, they’re his own.

Sarah uses the practice instead of jumping into DOING during an anxiety ridden morning.

Jazelle uses the practice when the voices of a patriarchal upbringing make her doubt her ability to be a founder and CEO.

I do the practice first thing every morning, as much a ritual as brushing my teeth.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• The two tools that are my ride-or-die go-to’s
• Why breathing or taking a minute away from challenges isn’t enough
• How to turn down analytical thinking to create space for the Practice
• The three most important components of the Practice
• Questions to ask ourselves that unravel intolerable emotions
• Four times to apply the practice
• How to metabolize a feeling and transmute it into something that serves you

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

Have you ever needed a fresh perspective so badly, that you just started over instead? Maybe it was by getting a fresh relationship going, or getting into a fresh job or home setting, or starting your life over in a fresh new place.

No matter how many times we change our external setting, we know that eventually we’ll meet the same challenges there, too.

In today’s episode, we’ll learn the idea of giving ourselves a freshie every day. About treating our mental perspective, our belief in our ideas, relationships, and ultimately in ourselves as a discipline that requires as much consistency and attention as diet, exercise, communication, or even caring for a living thing that we’re responsible for.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• Why we look for external change to help us re-motivate.
• How hedonistic adaptation causes us to eventually meet the same challenges in new situations.
• How friendships, coaching relationships, and other support systems serve the purpose of freshening our belief in ourselves and our ideas, and why that’s not enough.
• Examples of how the moment we stop trying is the moment things stop working
• How we can use that reality to motivate us to believe in ourselves, our relationships, and our ideas day after day
• A “freshie” practice we can normalize and use daily to build the skill and resilience we'll need when things get hardest.
• Three examples of how we can support the fresh perspectives of the people around us, through the examples we set and the things we share.

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!