If your family has ever claimed they could heal burns, predict babies, or cure warts... this episode is for you.

Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week we're swapping some of the wildest Southern family stories we've ever heard including our cousin, who could actually talk the fire out of a burn, our Granny that could rub warts away, and the old pencil-on-a-string trick that somehow always seemed to predict whether someone was having a boy or a girl. Some people call it witchery, we call it a gift from the Lord.

We also revisit one of the scariest childhood moments we've ever experienced after a gas heater accident left Landon looking like the bottom of a brick oven pizza.

We pitch a couple of million-dollar invention ideas, recap a night out on Broadway in Nashville that got out of hand faster than expected, and somehow end up in a heated debate over food. We reveal exactly how we make a Totino's pizza by absolutely burying it under layers of provolone, American cheese, and mozzarella until it barely resembles the pizza that came out of the box, and we defend a family lasagna recipe that's guaranteed to divide the internet.

Whether you're here for the unbelievable family stories, million-dollar ideas, questionable food opinions, or just looking for a good laugh, this episode has a little bit of everything. Grab a snack, get comfortable, and thanks for hanging out with us!

Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com.

Thank you to these sponsors:

Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter. This is a paid advertisement

Amble Health: Curious about NAD+ therapy? Learn more through a convenient online consultation with a licensed healthcare provider. If prescribed, treatment is shipped directly to your door. Visit joinamble.com to see if NAD+ therapy may be right for you.

ZBiotics: Go to ziotics.com/banter and use code BANTER for 15% off your order.

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Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where our life advice is free for a reason and our luck on the interstate is somehow even cheaper.

This week we're talking about the piece of metal that flew off a semi and absolutely destroyed Landon's car, why an ordinary drive turned into an interstate demolition derby, and whether moving to Franklin might actually be worth the headache. We also recap our trip to an antique shop that felt one exorcism away from being shut down, where every room seemed more haunted than the last and we're still not convinced we didn't accidentally bring something home. Plus, we get into what it really takes to make this podcast, why putting out two episodes a week is a lot harder than some of y'all think, and an idea we've been kicking around to let you in on even more of the behind-the-scenes chaos.

Then we each reveal the seven things we think are actually worth spending your money on, call out a few purchases we think are a complete waste, somehow discover there are still basic facts we definitely should've learned in school, and answer everything from surviving your first cruise to handling a significant other with road rage and whether Oklahoma deserves all the hate it gets.

And of course, make sure you stick around for a deeply unqualified but wildly confident advice segment known as Cousin Counsel. Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com.

If you've ever had your day ruined by somebody else's stupidity, defended an expensive purchase by calling it an investment, or realized your confidence and your intelligence don't always arrive at the same time, this episode is dedicated to you.

Thank you to these sponsors:

Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter. This is a paid advertisement

Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter.

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- https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell

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Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week includes waking up four separate times just to eat, willingly paying $200 to have our chest hair ripped out, and making the case that an egg in ramen is one of the greatest culinary inventions of all time.

Food completely takes over this episode as we rank the ultimate Southern breakfast and dinner, debate the meals that raised us, and somehow spend way too long defending why adding an egg to ramen turns it into an elite meal. From cathead biscuits covered in gravy, fried potatoes, soup beans, meatloaf, and country fried steak to Hamburger Helper, fried bologna sandwiches, and the best “struggle meals” money can buy, this episode is basically one long love letter to comfort food.

Of course, we get distracted along the way. We talk about waking up four different times in one night just to snack, surviving the pain of getting our chest, belly, and back waxed, whether a $300 electric toothbrush is actually worth it, my grandmother’s limited-edition Corvette getting hit by a deer, and the traffic situations that make road rage feel almost unavoidable.

If you’ve ever treated ramen like a gourmet meal, argued that Southern food can’t be beat, or found yourself standing in the kitchen at 2 a.m. convincing yourself one more snack won’t hurt, this episode is for you.

Thank you to these sponsors:

Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter. This is a paid advertisement Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter.

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Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we're covering everything from why the internet thinks Landon secretly got married to whether Texas deserves to be called part of the South.

We kick things off by catching up after a few days apart, talking sleep scores, Botox appointments, spending habits that may or may not be getting out of hand, and why planning a vacation sounds a whole lot easier than actually booking one. Along the way, we dive into Love Island drama, debate whether Chihuahuas have any chance of making it to heaven, and explain why pet insurance might be one of the smartest purchases we've ever made.

From there, things spiral into one of our favorite debates yet: what actually makes someone "Southern?" We compare Texas to the Deep South, defend sweet tea as a personality trait, argue over chili with beans, and explain why growing up in Georgia shaped just about every opinion we have.

We also talk about quitting vaping, why neither of us went to college because we refused to live with a roommate, Landon's complete trust in his self-driving Tesla, Riley's obsession with cooking the perfect steak, and why A1 steak sauce will always have a place at the dinner table no matter what the internet says.

Naturally, we couldn't leave without discussing why healthy food may be good for your body but terrible for your spirit, the foods we'd eat every day if calories didn't exist, and how somehow a conversation about pineapple and the weather turned into one of the funniest rabbit holes of the episode.

If you've ever argued over what counts as "the South," been accused of something you definitely didn't do on the internet, or believed a good steak deserves A1 no matter what anyone says... this episode is for you.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com

Thank you to these sponsors:

Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter. This is a paid advertisement

Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter.

Füm: Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline and use code BLOODLINE to receive a free gift with your Journey Pack.

LET'S GET SOCIAL:

Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter

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Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell

Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we’re sweating like rotisserie chickens, arguing that Dolly Parton may have outdone Buc-ee’s, and trying to solve the mystery of why someone’s charcoal-coated ground beef landed on Riley’s apartment windowsill.

We spiral into Southern heat that’ll make you question your deodorant, Landon’s solo beach trip complete with shark sightings and fake IDs, the app that’s judging everything in our grocery carts, and the people risking their lives for proposals and world records because apparently a normal hobby isn’t enough. We also catch up on Gus and Coco before diving into another round of absolute chaos.

Then we tackle your unhinged submissions, including whether a phone dropped in a porta-potty is worth saving, a workplace crush that could end in disaster, and the single most disgusting roommate story we’ve ever heard involving a toothbrush.

If you’ve ever walked outside in the South and immediately started sweating in places you didn’t know could sweat, had your thighs fighting for their lives in the humidity, or questioned every decision that led you to leave the air conditioning… this episode is for you.

Thank you to these sponsors:

Amble Health: Curious about NAD+ therapy? Learn more through a convenient online consultation with a licensed healthcare provider. If prescribed, treatment is shipped directly to your door. Visit https://joinamble.com/ to see if NAD+ therapy may be right for you.

Olive App: Download the Olive App using the link below and start your 7-day free trial to scan your food, household products, and more.

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-food-cosmetic-scanner/id6739765789

Olive: Food & Cosmetic Scanner

Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter (http://forthepeople.com/bloodline). This is a paid advertisement

Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter.

LET'S GET SOCIAL:

Bloodline Banter:

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Landon Mauk:

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Riley Mitchell:

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Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we somehow manage to turn a conversation about sleep scores into a full-blown debate over vodka, Chick-fil-A, and what we think Heaven's menu looks like. We kick things off comparing our Oura sleep scores before diving into our drinks of choice, why dirty martinis taste like salad dressing, and whether vodka sodas are actually enjoyable or just punishment in a glass. From there, Riley shares his latest weight loss struggles, we discuss emotional eating, Nashville life, and why we've both somehow managed to gain weight since moving here. Things quickly spiral into ranking cereals, arguing over the best DoorDash order, exposing Chick-fil-A's biggest mistakes, and explaining why the 8th Avenue location might need to be rebaptized. We also debate kale salads, grilled nuggets, cereal with bananas, rice cakes, and whether Wingstop is a healthy dinner or just another excuse to avoid cooking. Then, because this is Bloodline Banter, we take a sharp left turn into theology and imagine what the Last Supper in Heaven would actually look like. Fried chicken, collard greens, mashed potatoes, carrot cake, Hidden Valley Ranch, zero calories, and absolutely no guilt. We somehow end up talking about Adam and Eve, the Garden of Eden, and why Heaven might just have the greatest Sunday lunch of all time. We also chat about solo vacations, Netflix road trips, reality TV dreams, vlogging, grocery shopping addictions, Walmart sightings that should honestly require therapy, and why texting someone "we need to talk" before disappearing for eight hours should be considered emotional terrorism. Cousin Counsel also returns with a few listener situations that spark some strong opinions, questionable advice, and the kind of conversations that could probably start an argument at the family dinner table. If you've ever judged someone's drink order, gotten personally offended by soda water, wondered if Heaven serves mac and cheese, yelled at kids running wild through Walmart, or seriously questioned why anyone would buy groceries without scanning them first... this episode is for you. Thank you to these sponsors: Ziotics: Go to ziotics.com/banter and use code BANTER for 15% off your order. Olive App: Download the Olive App using the link below and start your 7-day free trial to scan your food, household products, and more. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-food-cosmetic-scanner/id6739765789 Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter (http://forthepeople.com/bloodline). This is a paid advertisement. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell

This episode starts with our sleep scores and somehow spirals into childhood illnesses, public school memories, and why Southern people can turn a double-wide into a luxury estate with enough porch additions and Home Depot lumber. We also relive some of our finest moments, including getting kicked out of Lowe's after making announcements over the intercom, debating whether private school kids are "kettle cooked," and questioning why Apple keeps making us buy charging blocks separately. Things only get more unhinged from there. We discuss the absolute horror of used sex toys being sold on Facebook Marketplace, traumatic dentist experiences, root canals, veneers, and why Landon was once threatened with a straitjacket at the dentist's office. Then we tackle the important issues: could you survive being vegan for a year? Were mosquitoes actually on Noah's Ark? Did God create cows specifically so we could enjoy filet mignon? And why does chunky peanut butter feel like a personal attack? Plus, we talk flip-flops, Southern church culture, weight loss journeys, Royal Caribbean buffets, and put each other through another round of Bloodline Brain Check that proves we might not actually be smarter than fifth graders. And of course, Cousin Counsel is back with relationship dilemmas involving secret subscriptions, social media insecurities, and engagement FOMO. If you've ever played on the display kitchens at Lowe's, lived with a junk drawer that won't close, or questioned why anyone would buy a used pelvic massager online… this episode is for you. Go to shopremi.com/BANTER and use code BANTER at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter LETS GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/) Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933)

Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we're catching up after another weekend on the road and discussing the realities of traveling across the South, from long-haul road trips and festival crowds to the point where you finally decide you're too old to spend fourteen hours in a vehicle. We recap our time at Rock the Country, share some of the more interesting characters we encountered along the way, and debate whether there is any destination worth driving to when an airplane is an option.

We also get into apartment life and the never-ending battle of trying to make a place feel like home. Landon has decided it's time for a complete redesign and has become convinced he can transform his apartment into a classic old-money masterpiece with the help of ChatGPT, while Riley remains unconvinced that a few brass accents and vintage photos can save some of the decorating choices currently hanging on the walls.

Along the way, we tackle modern tipping culture and where the line should actually be drawn, discuss the strange ways people choose to help others, and dive into some of the uniquely Southern phrases and pronunciations that make absolutely no sense but somehow still survive generation after generation. We also debate whether the average person could actually land a commercial airplane during an emergency, why some people seem far too confident in skills they definitely do not possess, and how social media has convinced everyone they're an expert on everything.

As always, things spiral into conversations about relationships, family dynamics, personal boundaries, and the kinds of situations that make you question what is going on in the world. From shocking dating revelations and relationship timelines to stories that will leave you genuinely speechless, this episode covers a little bit of everything.

We wrap things up by talking about future plans, major purchases, and the dangerous combination of having access to the internet and enough confidence to convince yourself you need a brand-new vehicle immediately.

If you've ever survived a miserable road trip, questioned modern tipping culture, attempted to redecorate your apartment, met someone who was way too confident in their abilities, or heard a story that made you stop and say "there is absolutely no way," this episode is for you.

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