This week Emily and Courtney sit down with Daisy Fulgham — wardrobe stylist turned sex and relationship coach, devoted wife of 34 years, mother of two, and the woman who, at 54, Googled "sex coaching programs," sat down with her husband, and signed up before she could talk herself out of it. After the first weekend she was completely hooked. After this episode, you will be too.

Daisy is warm, funny, disarmingly wise, and absolutely not here to talk about what you think she's here to talk about. Because this isn't really about sex. It's about intimacy. And intimacy, she'll tell you, is just deeply knowing yourself — all of it, the bright parts and the dark parts, the wounds and the triggers and the beautiful, complicated mess of being human — and meeting all of it with curiosity instead of judgment.

"Shame can't really grow with a bunch of light on it." — Daisy Fulgham

What you'll hear:

• The difference between therapy and sex coaching — and why Daisy's favorite clients are the ones who already have a therapist, because they're ready to stop just talking about things and start practicing them
• What most people are actually coming to her for when they book a session (spoiler: it's not what you think — it's _____________)
• Old narratives: the stories we were handed about who we're supposed to be as men and women, and why none of them are paying off for anyone
• Self-improvement vs. self-love — why we've been sold one when we desperately need the other, and what the difference actually looks like in practice
• The shame share: a simple, structured exercise for letting something you've never told anyone out into the light — and why shame physically loses its grip when someone witnesses you without judgment
• Pleasure as a radical act — "whether it's your kickball team, your knitting group, or sex in a ten-person orgy, you are just loving yourself so much more" — and why the patriarchy needs us to believe we haven't earned it yet
• What intimacy actually means — and why it's been quietly swapped out for the word "sex" by everyone who doesn't want to say sex
• Big Cat Energy — Daisy's concept of staying connected to that inner flow of energy that makes you more alive, more engaged, more sparkly — and how fashion and clothing can be a doorway into it
• Courtney's lingerie shower story: her mom, a Catholic schoolgirl costume, her brother, a grass skirt, two coconuts, and some genuinely excellent chaos
• Emily on pleasure post-cancer: huffing Lady Chunk the cat for five seconds and not caring what anyone thinks
• The embodiment breathing exercise anyone can do before they leave the house — and why Daisy is always surprised at how much it changes every interaction that comes after
• And a promise of an ethical porn list, available by email, no questions asked, anonymous welcome. Below is info for Ethical Porn! Email us.

Daisy is accepting new clients. This is your sign.

📎 Find Daisy:

• 🌸 Website: daisyfulgham.com
• 📲 Instagram: @Daisy.Fulgham.coaching
• 📩 Want the ethical porn resource list? Email us at thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com — no explanation needed, no judgment, we promise

💌 Have a question for Daisy — or a story you've been carrying? Email us at thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com or visit thatwasnttheplan.com

📲 Find us on Instagram | TikTok | YouTube — search @thatwasnttheplan_podcast

🎧 If this one hit you somewhere soft — subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs permission to take up space.

That wasn't the plan, and we will talk to you next week. K bye. 🥂

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