Ever feel like you're chasing love—or running from it? Your attachment style isn't a personality flaw; it's a survival strategy shaped by early experiences. In this episode of Beyond Survival: A Pathway to Peace, trauma-informed coach Naomi Stanchfield breaks down the 4 attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized), how trauma amplifies them, and why the "4 S's of Security" (Safe, Seen, Soothed, Secure) matter.

Discover practical somatic tools like the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method, pendulation, and boundary-setting movements—plus CBT techniques like cognitive restructuring and the XYZ communication formula—to rewire toward earned secure attachment. Learn how to shift from reactive survival to conscious connection in relationships.

If you're ready to understand your patterns and build inner safety, this episode is your gentle first step. These are educational tools, not therapy—reach out to a professional if needed.

Connect: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook @beyondsurvivalpathway
Join: Beyond Survival: Healing through Stories (Facebook book club); Beyond Survival: Healing Together (Facebook Support Group); and our 6-Week Journaling Challenge to get printable weekly journaling worksheets (each week has 7 journal prompts to coincide with our weekly love, relationship and connection topics)
Subscribe for weekly trauma healing tools. Let's walk this path together. 💚

Self-love can feel cringy, confusing, or completely out of reach after trauma. Maybe you've heard "you just need to love yourself" and felt your whole body tense up. In this episode, we explore why self-love feels so hard when you have a trauma history—and how to start making it feel safer and more possible.

We talk about how trauma implants deep negative beliefs, shatters self-trust, and fuels shame, guilt, and self-criticism that keep you stuck in survival mode. You'll learn how these patterns show up in your nervous system and relationships, and why "performative self-care" (bubble baths, face masks, and vibes) often isn't enough on its own.

We'll break down the difference between aesthetic self-care and true, embodied self-love—self-love as a felt sense of safety in your body. You'll also hear the brain science behind self-criticism and self-compassion, including how practices of kindness toward yourself can reduce threat responses and support regulation over time.

This episode includes practical, trauma-informed ways to begin practicing self-love when it doesn't come naturally, including:

• Allowing emotions without judgment

• Using self-compassion instead of self-attack

• Gently reshaping your self-talk

• Practicing real, nervous-system-friendly self-care

• Setting boundaries, creating joy, and celebrating small wins

If you've ever thought, "I hate the way self-love sounds, but I know I need it," this conversation is for you. Self-love isn't a reward you earn once you're healed—it's one of the pathways that helps you get there.

In this episode of Beyond Survival: A Pathway to Peace, we explore a deeply human habit: complaining. Rather than labeling it as "negative," we look at complaining through a trauma‑informed lens as a coping mechanism — a way your nervous system tries to communicate fear, overwhelm, or unmet needs.

You'll learn how constant complaining can reinforce negativity bias, confirmation bias, and low‑level stress in the body, and how neuroplasticity turns occasional venting into a default thought pattern. More importantly, you'll walk away with a simple four‑step shift to turn complaining into conscious, needs‑based communication — plus a "Mindful Complaint Challenge" you can try in your own life.

This episode is for anyone who's noticed themselves stuck in complaint loops, felt guilty about it, and wants to understand what's really going on — and how to heal with compassion instead of shame.