QUICKIE: When They Want My Spouse and Not Me

It stings. It's awkward. And if you've been in the lifestyle long enough, it's happened to you. In this Beyond Monogamy Quickie, Adam and Pris tackle one of the most relatable — and ego-bruising — moments in ethical non-monogamy: when a couple (or someone in the lifestyle) makes it crystal clear they're interested in your partner... but not really in you.

From getting iced out at meetups, to a couple literally texting only one of them with interest, to stare-downs at lifestyle events, Adam and Pris get real about the feelings, the stories, and how they've learned to handle it with (mostly) grace. They also dig into the role of delivery, communication, and why your partner sugarcoating the news might not be the betrayal you think it is.

In this episode:

• Real stories of being the "less preferred" partner — from both sides
• Why delivery matters more than the message itself
• The four-way connection — lifestyle unicorn or overrated requirement?
• How Adam handles it when he's into a woman but unsure if Pris will vibe with her husband
• Pris's ADHD-fueled honesty about getting sour — and why she owns it

🎙️ Listen live on Full Swap Radio — Thursdays at 1:00 PM & 6:00 PM Central at fullswapradio.com

📍 Upcoming Events:
Krazy Winter Nights KC — February 19–21, 2027 | Use code BEYOMONO at krazykasbh.com
Beyond Monogamy Live — Club Eden, San Antonio

💊 Sponsors & Affiliates:
SDC — The world's largest lifestyle community. Use code 38236 at sdc.com
3Fun — The #1 app for couples and singles. Use code TK11932
FirmTech — Performance rings that actually work. Use code BEYOMONO
ProDx Health — Take control of your sexual health. Use code BEYOMONO

🌐 Find us everywhere at beyond-monogamy.com

Episode Summary

Adam and Pris sit down with Natasha Helfer, AASECT-certified sex therapist, author, and founder of Symmetry Counseling, for one of the most powerful conversations in Beyond Monogamy history. Natasha spent three decades helping people untangle religious trauma, sexual shame, and purity culture — and then made national headlines when she was excommunicated from the LDS Church for speaking openly about sex, faith, and mental health.

In this episode, we dig into why so many people leaving high-demand religions explore ethical non-monogamy, how shame rewires our nervous systems, the myth of sex addiction in religious communities, and how to reclaim your erotic identity no matter where you came from.

Topics Covered

• Purity culture and long-term sexual shame
• Natasha's excommunication from the LDS Church
• Why people leaving religion pursue ENM
• The sex addiction myth and its religious roots
• Navigating faith AND non-monogamy simultaneously
• Mom guilt, mismatched libido, and the orgasm gap
• How communication transforms relationships

Connect with Natasha Helfer

• Website: natashahelford.com
• The Sanctuary – Salt Lake City, UT
• Fantasy Lifestyle Cruise – February classes

Our Sponsors

• SDC – The world's largest lifestyle social network. Use code 38236 at sdc.com
• 3Fun – App for couples and singles in the lifestyle. Use code TK11932
• FirmTech – Performance rings and sexual wellness tech. Code: BEYOMONO
• ProDx Health – At-home health testing. Code: BEYOMONO

Find Us

• Website & links: beyond-monogamy.com
• Live radio: fullswapradio.com — Thursdays at 2PM & 7PM Central
• Events: Krazy Winter Nights KC – Feb 19–21, 2027 | Code: BEYOMONO at krazykasbh.com
• Beyond Monogamy Live at Club Eden San Antonio

Feeling the pressure? 🍍 So are we.

On this Wednesday Quickie, Adam & Pris get real about one of the lifestyle's most overlooked problems — pressure. Whether it's a spouse pushing their partner on someone else, over-serving drinks to loosen inhibitions, or just the unspoken expectation to perform at events, pressure in the swinger lifestyle is more common than anyone wants to admit.

Adam confesses he was that guy early on — pushy for experiences. Pris calls him out. Repeatedly. Lovingly. Brutally. They also dig into the pressure of being recognized as podcasters at lifestyle events, the stress of finances and job searching while keeping the lifestyle going, and whether Pris is actually retiring at 50 (spoiler: Adam says absolutely not).

• Pushiness in the lifestyle — from newbies AND veterans
• Why asking for your partner instead of letting them speak is a huge red flag
• Adam's inability to say no (Pris has receipts)
• The pressure to drink, perform, dress the theme, and be "on"
• Real talk: financial stress and the lifestyle

July 8–13 in New Orleans — we'll have an exhibitor booth! Day passes still available. CLICK HERE for tickets!

The #1 app for couples and singles in the lifestyle. Download 3Fun and meet like-minded people near you! CLICK HERE to get started.

• 🌐 www.beyond-monogamy.com — Episodes, blogs, merch & anonymous confessional
• 📻 FullSwapRadio.com — Every Thursday at 2PM & 7PM Central

Love the show? Leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more than you know! 🙌

What does it take to build the world's largest lifestyle event from a house party to a 3,000+ person New Orleans takeover? Adam and Pris sit down with Bob Hannaford, founder and CEO of Naughty Events and the mastermind behind Naughty N'Awlins — the most iconic swinger and kink convention on the planet. Bob pulls back the curtain on 28 years of growth, the Cathedral of Kink dungeon, the Sexual Freedom Parade, consent culture at scale, and what makes Naughty N'Awlins unlike any event in the lifestyle.

In this episode:

• How Naughty N'Awlins grew from a 175-person house party to a sold-out global event
• The Sexual Freedom Parade — why it makes grown adults cry in the streets
• Consent at 3,000+ people: required tests, independent advocates, and 20+ pages of policy
• The Cathedral of Kink, the Dark Room, and the new Afterglow after-hours lounge
• Tips for anxiety sufferers navigating a massive lifestyle event
• Why New Orleans is the perfect city for sexual freedom

Naughty N'Awlins 2026 — July 8–12 in New Orleans — is SOLD OUT. Get on the waitlist and start planning for 2027 at naughtyevents.com.

Beyond Monogamy will have an exhibitor booth at Naughty N'Awlins — come find us!

📍 Beyond Monogamy LIVE at Club Eden San Antonio — June 20th! Details at beyond-monogamy.com

🎉 Krazy Winter Nights Kansas City — February 19–21, 2027. Use code BEYOMONO at krazykasbh.com

📻 Full Swap Radio — Live lifestyle talk every Thursday at 2PM & 7PM Central. fullswapradio.com

🔬 Sponsor: ProDx Health — At-home STI and hormone testing. No waiting rooms, no awkward conversations. Use code BEYOMONO for 15% off at ProDxHealth.com.

New episodes every week at beyond-monogamy.com.

The guest didn't show up. The mics were already hot. What happened next became one of our most real, unfiltered episodes yet.

In this Beyond Monogamy Quickie, Adam and Pris got caught mid-conversation while waiting on a no-show guest — and what started as backstage small talk turned into a deep, raw, hilarious dive into ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, swinging, jealousy, compersion, and what it actually looks like to evolve as a couple in the lifestyle.

They cover:

• Why they didn't do polyamory "right" the first time — and what they'd do differently
• Pris dropping the bomb: she's open to trying poly again
• The wild list of stipulations Pris has for any future partners (spoiler: it's a lot)
• Jealousy, compersion, and the difference between rules and boundaries
• What successful polyamory actually looks like — and why it doesn't have to mean dating someone

This one was never supposed to be recorded. That's exactly why you need to hear it.

🌐 Find everything Beyond Monogamy: beyond-monogamy.com

📻 Catch us on Full Swap Radio every Thursday at 2PM & 7PM Central: fullswapradio.com

🎉 Upcoming Events:

• Beyond Monogamy Live @ Club Eden San Antonio – June 20
• Naughty N'awlins – July 8–12, New Orleans (come find us at our booth!)
• Krazy Winter Nights – Kansas City – Feb 19–21, 2027 | Code BEYOMONO at krazykasbh.com

🔥 This episode is brought to you by FirmTech — the award-winning doctor-designed wearable tech ring built for men who want to level up in and out of the bedroom. Track your sexual health data, heighten sensitivity, and actually know what's going on down there. Use code BEYOMONO at myfirmtech.com to save.

She had rules. She had walls. She had a clipboard full of hard limits. Eighteen months later? Adam pulled the receipts — and Pris had some explaining to do.

In this episode, Adam flips the script and puts Pris in the hot seat for a long-overdue evolution check-in. Armed with direct quotes from Episode 1, he revisits every bold declaration Pris made when Beyond Monogamy launched — and finds out just how much has changed after 18 months in the ENM and swinger lifestyle.

What we cover:

• From "I don't need men" to fully bisexual and genuinely open — and the shroom trip that helped get her there
• The sleepover rule: is it still a hard no? (Spoiler: not exactly)
• Separate play, jealousy, and how Pris went from anxious to actually okay with it
• Healing from shame after two marriages that left real damage
• Sexual confidence: from "I don't get on top" to full exhibitionist energy
• How an ADHD diagnosis changed everything socially in the lifestyle
• Where Pris actually stands on polyamory today

Raw, honest, funny, and full of real growth. If you're somewhere in your own ethical non-monogamy journey wondering if the hard parts ever get easier — this episode was made for you.

🎙️ Listen & Subscribe: beyond-monogamy.com | Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio | Pandora

📻 Catch us LIVE on Full Swap Radio every Thursday at 2PM & 7PM Central — fullswapradio.com

📅 Upcoming Events:
🔥 Club Eden San Antonio — June 20th | Come hang with Adam & Pris!
🎉 Naughty N'awlins — July 8–12, New Orleans | We have a BOOTH — come find us! Giveaways, photos & good vibes.

💊 Sponsor: ProDx Health
Know your status. Protect your people. Grab the Pro-13 Home Collection Kit at prodxhealth.com and use code BEYOMONO at checkout for a discount.

🌐 Not on SDC yet? Join the world's largest lifestyle social network at sdc.com — referral code 38236.

Two confessionals. Two very real situations. One Quickie you'll want to text to your partner immediately.

Adam and Pris are back in the booth answering two anonymous submissions from the Beyond Monogamy community. First up: a newbie wife wants to know how to pull off an immersive stranger roleplay in Houston AND how to handle unwanted attention at an upcoming hotel takeover — without killing the vibe or looking like the weird couple in the corner. Then things get deeper: a woman engaged to a 20-year swinger veteran realizes their connection styles may be fundamentally incompatible, and wonders if her partner is actually more poly than either of them signed up for.

• How to fully commit to a stranger roleplay (separate Ubers, people — commit)
• Handling unwanted attention at lifestyle events without being rude or a pushover
• Kitchen table vs. parallel play — what's the real difference?
• When your swinger needs deep emotional connections with every play partner
• Adam and Pris get personal about their own five-year poly chapter
• Why "you're not insecure — you had an agreement" might be the most validating thing we've ever said on this show

📩 Have something on your chest? Drop it in our 100% anonymous confessional at beyond-monogamy.com. No name, no login, no receipts — just you being honest. It might be the next episode.

• 🎉 Beyond Monogamy at Club Eden — San Antonio, TX | June 20th, 9PM Central. Club Eden membership required to attend — get yours at their website now.
• ❄️ Krazy Winter Nights 2027 — Kansas City, MO | Feb 19–21, 2027. Use code BEYOMONO at checkout to save.
• 📻 Catch us LIVE on FullSwapRadio.com every Thursday at 2PM & 7PM Central.

Brought to you by FirmTech — the world's first smart performance ring that tracks your health data and helps you show up better in the bedroom. Use code BEYOMONO at myfirmtech.com/adamalvarez and save on your order.

🎧 Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris | beyond-monogamy.com
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This week, Adam and Pris sit down with the hosts of one of the most respected podcasts in the non-monogamy space — Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Sotelo Matlack of Multiamory. Over a decade of real, research-backed content, and they're still going strong. We get into where polyamory and swinging actually overlap (and where they absolutely don't), the truth about unicorn hunters across both communities, jealousy, toxic masculinity, the one penis policy, and why swingers are just more fun at parties. Dedeker even calls us out. It's that kind of episode.

In This Episode:

• How Dedeker, Jase, and Emily became a trio — and how a collapsing quad turned into a decade-long podcast
• Poly vs. swinging: same umbrella, very different vibes
• Unicorn hunting: fun fantasy or ethical minefield?
• The one penis policy and toxic masculinity in the lifestyle
• Jealousy, compersion, and why everyone has their price
• What to do when partners are mismatched — one wants sex, one wants connection

Find Multiamory:
🌐 multiamory.com
🎙️ Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and everywhere you listen
📸 Instagram: @multiamory_podcast
💬 Community: multiamory.supercast.com
📚 Book: Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships — available on Amazon, Audible, Barnes & Noble, and at your local bookstore

Sponsor:
Meet couples and singles near you — 3Fun is the #1 app for the lifestyle. Download free: go3fun.co/ad/TK11932

Find Us:
🌐 beyond-monogamy.com
📻 Live on fullswapradio.com — Thursdays at 2PM & 7PM Central

Upcoming Events:
🎉 Beyond Monogamy Live @ Club Eden SA — June 20th (membership required)
🎉 Naughty N'awlins — July 8–12, New Orleans. Find our booth!
🎉 Krazy Winter Nights KC — Feb 19–21, 2027. Code: BEYOMONO at krazykasbh.com