QUICKIE: When They Want My Spouse and Not Me

It stings. It's awkward. And if you've been in the lifestyle long enough, it's happened to you. In this Beyond Monogamy Quickie, Adam and Pris tackle one of the most relatable — and ego-bruising — moments in ethical non-monogamy: when a couple (or someone in the lifestyle) makes it crystal clear they're interested in your partner... but not really in you.

From getting iced out at meetups, to a couple literally texting only one of them with interest, to stare-downs at lifestyle events, Adam and Pris get real about the feelings, the stories, and how they've learned to handle it with (mostly) grace. They also dig into the role of delivery, communication, and why your partner sugarcoating the news might not be the betrayal you think it is.

In this episode:

• Real stories of being the "less preferred" partner — from both sides
• Why delivery matters more than the message itself
• The four-way connection — lifestyle unicorn or overrated requirement?
• How Adam handles it when he's into a woman but unsure if Pris will vibe with her husband
• Pris's ADHD-fueled honesty about getting sour — and why she owns it

🎙️ Listen live on Full Swap Radio — Thursdays at 1:00 PM & 6:00 PM Central at fullswapradio.com

📍 Upcoming Events:
Krazy Winter Nights KC — February 19–21, 2027 | Use code BEYOMONO at krazykasbh.com
Beyond Monogamy Live — Club Eden, San Antonio

💊 Sponsors & Affiliates:
SDC — The world's largest lifestyle community. Use code 38236 at sdc.com
3Fun — The #1 app for couples and singles. Use code TK11932
FirmTech — Performance rings that actually work. Use code BEYOMONO
ProDx Health — Take control of your sexual health. Use code BEYOMONO

🌐 Find us everywhere at beyond-monogamy.com

Episode Summary

Adam and Pris sit down with Natasha Helfer, AASECT-certified sex therapist, author, and founder of Symmetry Counseling, for one of the most powerful conversations in Beyond Monogamy history. Natasha spent three decades helping people untangle religious trauma, sexual shame, and purity culture — and then made national headlines when she was excommunicated from the LDS Church for speaking openly about sex, faith, and mental health.

In this episode, we dig into why so many people leaving high-demand religions explore ethical non-monogamy, how shame rewires our nervous systems, the myth of sex addiction in religious communities, and how to reclaim your erotic identity no matter where you came from.

Topics Covered

• Purity culture and long-term sexual shame
• Natasha's excommunication from the LDS Church
• Why people leaving religion pursue ENM
• The sex addiction myth and its religious roots
• Navigating faith AND non-monogamy simultaneously
• Mom guilt, mismatched libido, and the orgasm gap
• How communication transforms relationships

Connect with Natasha Helfer

• Website: natashahelford.com
• The Sanctuary – Salt Lake City, UT
• Fantasy Lifestyle Cruise – February classes

Our Sponsors

• SDC – The world's largest lifestyle social network. Use code 38236 at sdc.com
• 3Fun – App for couples and singles in the lifestyle. Use code TK11932
• FirmTech – Performance rings and sexual wellness tech. Code: BEYOMONO
• ProDx Health – At-home health testing. Code: BEYOMONO

Find Us

• Website & links: beyond-monogamy.com
• Live radio: fullswapradio.com — Thursdays at 2PM & 7PM Central
• Events: Krazy Winter Nights KC – Feb 19–21, 2027 | Code: BEYOMONO at krazykasbh.com
• Beyond Monogamy Live at Club Eden San Antonio

Feeling the pressure? 🍍 So are we.

On this Wednesday Quickie, Adam & Pris get real about one of the lifestyle's most overlooked problems — pressure. Whether it's a spouse pushing their partner on someone else, over-serving drinks to loosen inhibitions, or just the unspoken expectation to perform at events, pressure in the swinger lifestyle is more common than anyone wants to admit.

Adam confesses he was that guy early on — pushy for experiences. Pris calls him out. Repeatedly. Lovingly. Brutally. They also dig into the pressure of being recognized as podcasters at lifestyle events, the stress of finances and job searching while keeping the lifestyle going, and whether Pris is actually retiring at 50 (spoiler: Adam says absolutely not).

• Pushiness in the lifestyle — from newbies AND veterans
• Why asking for your partner instead of letting them speak is a huge red flag
• Adam's inability to say no (Pris has receipts)
• The pressure to drink, perform, dress the theme, and be "on"
• Real talk: financial stress and the lifestyle

July 8–13 in New Orleans — we'll have an exhibitor booth! Day passes still available. CLICK HERE for tickets!

The #1 app for couples and singles in the lifestyle. Download 3Fun and meet like-minded people near you! CLICK HERE to get started.

• 🌐 www.beyond-monogamy.com — Episodes, blogs, merch & anonymous confessional
• 📻 FullSwapRadio.com — Every Thursday at 2PM & 7PM Central

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