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What happens when an abusive parent grows old?

For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, this is one of the most complicated questions they'll ever face. Society tells us to honor our parents, but very few people talk about what happens when those parents were the source of lifelong trauma.

In Part 1 of this conversation, Katherine shares the story that led to one of the hardest decisions of her life. She opens up about growing up with a malignant narcissistic father and a covert narcissistic mother, becoming a cycle breaker for her own children, and the unexpected phone call that changed everything.

After years of estrangement, Katherine and her siblings suddenly found themselves responsible for navigating the legal system, healthcare, finances, and elder care after her father attempted to kill her mother. What followed challenged everything she thought she knew about boundaries, responsibility, and protecting her own peace.

This episode begins an honest conversation about something few people are talking about: caring for aging abusive parents.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Growing up with narcissistic and abusive parents
• Becoming a cycle breaker for the next generation
• Why childhood trauma can remain hidden for decades
• The role of healthy relationships in healing
• Going no contact with abusive parents
• The phone call that changed everything
• Being thrust into managing aging parents' legal, medical, and financial affairs
• Survivor guilt, family expectations, and protecting your peace
• Why there isn't just one "right" way to navigate caring for abusive parents

If you've ever wondered what happens after going no contact, or you've worried about what you'll do when an abusive parent can no longer care for themselves, this conversation is for you.

Be sure to subscribe because in Part 2, Katherine shares practical options survivors have, why you don't have to choose between abandoning your parent and sacrificing yourself, and the resources she's creating to help others facing these impossible decisions.

Reasources mentions

Kong, J., Kunze, A., Goldberg, J., & Schroepfer, T. (2021).
"Caregiving for Parents Who Harmed You: A Conceptual Review."
Clinical Gerontologist, 44(5), 507–519.
DOI: 10.1080/07317115.2021.1920531

• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07317115.2021.1920531
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••https://www.instagram.com/katherinestclaire_writes/?hl=en

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

Burning It All Down: Escaping a Narcissistic Mother, Healing CPTSD, and Finding Safety

What happens when the person who was supposed to protect you is the person who taught you that love, safety, and survival all come with conditions?

In this powerful episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani Pearl Hernandez sits down with actor, filmmaker, writer, and survivor advocate JinJara Mitchell to explore the lifelong impact of growing up with a narcissistic and emotionally unsafe mother, the reality of complex trauma, and what it means to rebuild a life after losing everything you thought defined you.

JinJara shares her deeply personal journey of surviving childhood emotional abuse, neglect, family dysfunction, and the pressure to maintain the illusion of the "perfect family." Together, we unpack how children adapt to survive, how trauma shapes identity, and how healing often begins when we stop asking, "What was wrong with me?" and start asking, "What happened to me?"

JinJara also discusses how her own experiences inspired her award-winning short film The Ornament and the work she now does helping others transform pain into purpose through storytelling and community.

In This Episode We Discuss:

• Growing up with a narcissistic and emotionally unsafe mother
• The hidden reality behind the "perfect family" image
• Childhood trauma, CPTSD, and survival adaptations
• Trauma bonding and identifying with the abuser
• Loss of identity, family, stability, and belonging
• Leaving home and rebuilding life from the ground up
• The long-term effects of emotional abuse and neglect
• Therapy, healing, and nervous system recovery
• Family estrangement and complicated grief
• Learning what healthy love and safety actually feel like
• Breaking generational cycles of trauma
• The role of storytelling, art, and advocacy in healing
• Creating The Ornament and turning trauma into purpose
• Building community after surviving family abuse

About JinJara Mitchell

JinJara Mitchell is an actor, filmmaker, writer, and advocate whose work centers on healing, storytelling, and human resilience. Born in Palm Springs and raised between the United States and Canada, JinJara experienced profound childhood loss and family trauma that ultimately shaped both her personal healing journey and creative work.

She has appeared in productions including Arrow, Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist, Life Sentence, and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. In 2023, she wrote and directed the award-winning short film The Ornament, a deeply personal exploration of children who are forced to protect the very people who harm them.

JinJara is also the co-founder of The New Players, a creative community dedicated to connection, healing, and authentic storytelling.

If This Episode Resonated With You

If you grew up learning to become exactly who someone else needed you to be in order to survive, you're not alone. Children adapt. They perform. They protect. They wear masks. Healing begins when we realize that the version of ourselves that survived is not the only version of ourselves that gets to exist.

Thank you for listening to Beyond Mommy Dearest. If this conversation touched you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to know they are not alone.

Connect with JinJara

• The New Players
• The Ornament
• JinJara Instagram

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

Healing After Narcissistic Abuse: Rebuild Self-Trust, Heal Your Nervous System & Reclaim Yourself | Coach Denalee

Healing from narcissistic abuse is about more than surviving—it's about rebuilding trust in yourself, calming your nervous system, and reclaiming the life that was always yours.

In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Coach Denalee shares practical insights on healing holistically, setting healthy boundaries, rediscovering your identity, and finding safety after emotional abuse.

What You'll Learn

• How to rebuild self-trust after gaslighting
• Why nervous system healing matters
• The role of boundaries in recovery
• Why healing isn't linear
• The difference between healthy conflict and emotional abuse
• How to reconnect with your authentic self
• Why safe, healthy relationships support healing

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need this conversation.

Healing is possible. You are not alone, and your story doesn't end with survival—it begins with reclaiming yourself.

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Connect with Coach Denalee

https://www.youtube.com/@EatMoreChocolateProductions

https://www.holisticnarcrecovery.com

https://www.instagram.com/holistic.trauma.coach/

https://www.skool.com/holistic-recovery-from-abuse-5475/about?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

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