• Trump Halts Oval Office Meeting for Shoe-Size Roast as JD Vance Spills Wild Christmas Party Story
    2025/12/12
    Vice President JD Vance says President Trump once stopped an “important” Oval Office meeting to announce a more pressing topic — “Shoes” — before telling top officials they had “shitty shoes” and whipping out a shoe catalogue he apparently keeps at the Resolute Desk. Trump then asked for everyone’s sizes, used the moment to make a not-so-subtle anatomy joke about a size-seven colleague, and left Vance joking about his own measurements in front of the Second Lady. The tale echoes Trump’s infamous 2016 “no problem” debate line and adds a new chapter to the Rubio-hand saga — now with the former rival serving as Secretary of State and getting roasted for his footwear. Somewhere, a size-seven lawmaker is begging Santa for a quieter December.


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    8 分
  • Trump Brags About Dementia Tests in Midnight Rant as SC Prison Busts Crab-Leg Drone Drop
    2025/12/11
    President Trump lit up Truth Social with a late-night tirade boasting he’s taken more cognitive decline tests than any president ever — “aced” them, too — while blasting reporters as “treasonous” for questioning his health and demanding *The New York Times* shut down. The president challenged AOC to a cognition showdown, forgot details of his own exams, and brushed off a mysterious MRI as questions swirl about his mental fitness. Meanwhile in South Carolina, guards seized a drone carrying steak, crab legs, Old Bay, weed, and cigarettes into a prison — a full surf-and-turf smuggling attempt officials dubbed “Contraband Christmas.” From cognitive tests to crab legs in the sky, America continues to out-Florida itself.



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    7 分
  • Why Is It So Cold? Trump Rips ‘Stupid People’ at Fiery Pocono Rally as Deep Freeze Turns America Into an Ice Block
    2025/12/10
    President Trump roared back onto the rally stage in Mount Pocono, torching critics as “stupid people,” bungling Susie Wiles’ name, and reviving chants of “Send her back” while pitching his “no tax on tips” plan. The president blasted Minnesota leaders, mocked immigration from global “hellholes,” and even mixed up the Eagles’ season while trying to win over Pennsylvania. Meanwhile, meteorologists warn a brutal polar vortex “mega-dump” is set to smash the central and eastern U.S. with the coldest temperatures on Earth — from minus-45 wind chills in the Dakotas to frost creeping toward Florida. America’s freezing over… and the political climate isn’t much warmer.


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    9 分
  • Trump’s Birthday Replaces MLK Day? National Parks Spark Outrage With ‘America-First’ Holidays
    2025/12/09
    Patrick Gutfield digs into the National Park Service’s explosive new holiday calendar scrapping MLK Day and Juneteenth — while elevating Donald Trump’s birthday to fee-free status. Add in a $100 “patriotic premium” for foreign visitors and you’ve got bureaucratic chaos with a nationalist twist. Then: Trump “accidentally” tries to rename the Kennedy Center after himself (again), the Institute of Peace gets the full Trump makeover, and a new citizenship bill could accidentally boot Melania and Barron. It’s political whiplash at its finest.


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    5 分
  • Sleepy Don Hosts The Kennedy Center Awards
    2025/12/08
    President Trump is fuming after coverage comparing him to “Sleepy Joe.” Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump nodding off in Cabinet meetings, the mysterious bruises, the angry denials, and the full irony of a president who once branded Biden as tired now drifting off during his own workday. Plus: Trump’s chaotic Kennedy Center takeover, a MAGA-fied Honors gala, and a wild food-fight protest at the Tower of London involving apple crumble and custard. Only in 2025.


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    9 分
  • The Haunted Christmas White House
    2025/12/05
    From Washington DC where it’s not only the weather that’s frightful, this is Ballot. Melania’s Christmas décor goes full Tim Burton with mugshot LEGOs, butterfly swarms, and candelabras fit for a haunted mansion. Portland lights “the tree” — carefully avoiding the word Christmas — amid chants, land acknowledgments, and performance-art politics. And in New York, the city’s Christmas tree titans wage a turf war straight out of The Sopranos. Turns out holiday cheer comes with muscle.


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    5 分
  • Trump Declares War On “Affordability” — Then Roasts JD Vance
    2025/12/04
    Trump’s latest economic sermon turns into verbal Twister as “affordability” becomes both his favorite word and his sworn enemy. JD Vance gets roasted to his face while trying not to blink. And in a sharp detour, we head to America’s emergency rooms, where marijuana users are learning the word “scromiting.” It’s economic whiplash, political humiliation, and medical horror — all in one festive package.


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    4 分
  • Trump Nods Off As His Cabinet Turns Into ‘Adult Daycare’
    2025/12/03
    President Trump’s marathon Cabinet session devolves into doodles, typos, third-person motivational speeches, and a boom-mic Q&A nobody asked for. Russell Vought is drawing Bob Ross landscapes, Pete Hegseth arrives as the “ssecretary of war,” and Trump tries to prove he’s “sharp” by saying “Trump is sharp.” The meeting ends with table-slapping, shoulder-thumping, and enough chaos to qualify as an office Christmas party gone horribly wrong.


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    4 分