『AuDHD and the Holidays: Navigating the Holiday Hustle and Overwhelm』のカバーアート

AuDHD and the Holidays: Navigating the Holiday Hustle and Overwhelm

AuDHD and the Holidays: Navigating the Holiday Hustle and Overwhelm

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 Hello and welcome to another episode of Authentically ADHD. I’m Carmen, and today we’re diving into how the holiday season feels through the eyes (and brain) of someone with AuDHD – that is, co-occurring autism and ADHD. For many of us, the holidays can feel less “holly jolly” and more like a perfect storm of stress. In this episode we’ll explore why the season can be extra hard, what it looks and feels like, and science-backed strategies to survive (and maybe even enjoy) the holidays. Whether you’re a newly diagnosed adult or a parent of a neurodivergent child, this one’s for you.What Is AuDHD? (Autism + ADHD)First, a quick science check. Autism and ADHD often go hand in hand. In fact, research suggests roughly 50–70% of autistic people also meet criteria for ADHD. Likewise, about two-thirds of people with ADHD have another condition like autism. In plain terms, having AuDHD means your brain experiences both sets of traits – the social-pragmatic and sensory sensitivities of autism and the attention-dopamine challenges of ADHD.This combination can feel like a constant tug-of-war in the mind. One part of you craves novelty and spontaneity (hello, ADHD!), while another part craves predictability and routine (hello, autism!). Imagine loving new experiences but also needing your favorite cookie recipe exactly the same every year. The result? It can be disorienting: you might feel like you “don’t fit” neatly into either camp. Some people with AuDHD describe it as an internal “tug-of-war” or seesaw: one side impulsive and messy, the other organized and anxious to plan.In practice, AuDHD often means compensating and crashing. For example, someone’s autism-driven focus might compensate for their ADHD-driven distractibility at work, or vice versa – ADHD-driven chaos can overwhelm autistic need-for-order, leaving them paralyzed by overwhelm. Dopamine is also at play: ADHD brains naturally crave dopamine and may impulsively seek novelty to get it. This can collide with autistic routines (which prefer sameness), causing even more internal conflict. All of this can be exhausting, but it also means AuDHD brains are vividly tuned in and often intensely creative. Think of it as life on high-intensity mode – colorful and chaotic, requiring constant balancing.Why the Holidays Are Extra ChallengingNow layer on the holidays, and the pressure cooker heats way up. Even neurotypical people report elevated stress: one survey found 62% of adults felt “very or somewhat” more stressed during the holidays than at other times of year. But for AuDHD brains, the holidays can amplify every stressor:Routines Disrupted: The holidays upend our anchors. School break means new daily rhythms, late nights, irregular meals – everything that might keep an autistic-AuDHD person grounded gets flipped. As one ND observer notes, “routines are often our anchor, and when they’re pulled away, it can leave us adrift”. Even small changes (late start on Monday, new host home, delayed bedtime) can throw our whole system off.Sensory Overload: Holiday sights, sounds, and smells come at you hard. Think bright lights, loud music, clanging dishes, lots of chatter, and maybe even firecrackers or poppers. These environments can push a neurodivergent nervous system into sensory overwhelm. In fact, decorations blaring carols while a dozen relatives talk at once – that’s the classic recipe for sensory overload. Neuroscience explains it as bombarding the five senses: your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode, and it can stay on high alert even after you’re home. One ADHD resource describes this: “the body’s nervous system shifts into ‘fight-or-flight’ mode… After the event, the body may remain on high alert, struggling to return to a relaxed baseline – leading to fatigue, overstimulation, and emotional shutdown.”. In short, holiday clamor can fry an AuDHD brain.Social and Family Dynamics: Holidays often mean forced proximity. You’re expected to play nice at a crowded party, join in traditions, maybe hug or kiss relatives, and make small talk. That’s a lot of unstructured social juggling. Neurodivergent people often need more downtime than society assumes, but the holidays cram intense social demands into the shortest days of winter. Feeling like you should be joyful and festive can clash with feeling drained, anxious, or withdrawn. This is the “disconnect between ‘should’ and ‘feel’” one psychologist talks about: everyone else is pretending joy, but you might feel agitated, melancholic, or exhausted instead. In fact, holiday stress can bring out “regressive” feelings: snapping at family, ruminating on past hurts, or longing for a perfect moment that never happens.Executive Overload: Then there’s all the planning and to-dos. Making a menu, shopping for gifts, wrapping, hosting – the holiday season can demand supercharged executive function. Neuroscience shows that high ...
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