“Differentiation of self is being a unique individual while maintaining connection with people you love,” explains Dr. Julie Hanks. “We've been trained, particularly as women, to be enmeshed—to feel other people's pain for them. And that does no one any good. It doesn't help them, and it doesn't help us.” On Episode 239, Dr. Hanks joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation about enmeshment. It has been a core theme in her 30 years of practice as a therapist in Utah, working with families in which “the boundaries are not clear at all and everything's everyone's business.” So why are some Latter-day Saints prone to focusing too much on the lives and choices of their children or other family members? Does our church have teachings that actually promote family enmeshment?

“With always wanting to do the right things, take care of people, and people please, this set me up perfectly to be an all-in member. Doing the formula. Hustling! I was married in the temple to a returned missionary, had 4 children, and did everything I could to be a good, righteous LDS woman,” explains Lindsie Cornia. Those lines might be the beginning of a million stories in our church, but if there’s one thing to be learned from ALSSI, it’s that every woman’s path is unique and evolving. So what happened next? In Episode 238, Susan and Cynthia have a conversation with Lindsie about all of it: where she started, where she’s been, how it’s going, what she knows—or doesn’t—and how she looks at things now.

“There’s no roadmap for how to do partnership in patriarchy, at least within our little Mormon frame of reference,” explains Christine Pagano. “Patriarchy believes that men’s time is finite—there’s only 24 hrs—while women’s time is infinite. It’s unlimited. [...] Moms are carrying the load of domestic labor, invisible labor, emotional labor, and relational labor at much higher rates than their male partners.” But it’s not just at home: Within our church organization, women “are tasked with immense emotional, spiritual, and relational labor without equal voice, recognition, or authority. Improving the experience of LDS women means addressing both the invisible burdens they carry and the structural imbalance that keeps those burdens unacknowledged.” In Episode 237, Christine joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation about bringing the invisible work of women to light so that it can be shared more equitably.