Are you dating someone who is already married and wondering what to do next? Relationships with married partners can involve secrecy, guilt, hope, intense attachment, and difficult questions about whether the situation will ever truly change.

In this episode of The Self Help Briefing, Mike and Jen talk honestly about what it can be like to become involved with someone who is married. They explore why these relationships can be so hard to leave, why promises and actions don’t always match, and how waiting for someone else to make a decision can gradually reshape your own life.

Mike and Jen talk about:

• How relationships with married partners can begin
• Why secrecy becomes part of the structure of the relationship
• Guilt, shame, and the difference between feelings and choices
• The question many people eventually ask: “Will they ever leave?”
• Why actions matter more than promises
• The emotional and practical cost of waiting
• Why inconsistent attention can make attachment feel even stronger
• Patterns of being drawn to emotionally unavailable people
• Protecting your friendships, goals, finances, and independence
• What leaving can look like when you’re deeply attached
• Making a conscious decision instead of letting the situation decide for you

Not “Just Friends” by Shirley P. Glass, PhD

This book explores how emotional and physical boundaries can gradually shift, how relationships outside a committed partnership develop, and what happens when secrecy and attachment begin changing the people involved.

Book link: https://amzn.to/4z2yCGx

AI'm Dating a Married Man!

Article on the Couples Counseling website in Chicago from Chicago couples therapists. See I'm Dating a Married Man WTF Do I Do?

“I deserve a relationship where I am fully chosen, fully seen, and free to build a life that isn’t hidden in the margins.”

Ask yourself one honest question about the relationship you’re in:

“If nothing changed for the next two years, would this still be the life I want?”

You don’t have to make a decision today. Just give yourself permission to answer honestly.

Related Pod: Why am I always anxious?

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