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Tour pros make about half their putts from 8 feet. From 100 yards in the fairway they hit it inside 3 feet 1 time in 25. The standard you grade your golf against does not exist. Not for you. Not for them.

This week we tear up the fake report card most golfers carry in their heads. Where it came from (the broadcast, the Ben Hogan legend, and your own inflated numbers), what breaking 90 actually looks like for a 15 handicap, what a real 68 and a real 63 look like in strokes gained, and a 4 rule grading system that costs nothing and starts working your next round.

Sources named in this episode: Mark Broadie (Columbia, PGA Tour ShotLink), Shot Scope, Arccos and Lou Stagner, Jon Sherman (Practical Golf), Adam Young, Bob Rotella, and the Ben Hogan story as told by Dan Jenkins.

Chapters

0:00 The number that ends the argument

1:35 Mad about a birdie

3:11 Tour averages, 3 feet to 300 yards

6:52 Tiger missed 4 putts in 4 years

10:01 Where the fake report card came from

11:37 Hogan graded himself on 3 shots

15:51 The 24 yards you don't have

17:57 Your handicap is not your average

18:59 The break 90 data dump

21:35 Playing US Open qualifying with tour pros

28:53 A 68 and a 63 in strokes gained

33:04 Shooting a gajillion and smiling

39:49 The new report card

42:27 Grade putts by the second putt

45:03 Steal Hogan's scorecard

48:39 Ambition vs unrealistic expectations

50:48 Why golfers actually quit

51:20 Hayden is coming to Instagram

57:07 Give the scorecard back