When Marriage Gets Hard: What God Taught Me

Hey Believers, in the beginning, I thought that if I didn’t cheat or lie, marriage would be easy. I was wrong. After nearly seven years of marriage, I’ve learned that a godly union requires much more than just avoiding the big mistakes—it requires spiritual endurance.

In this episode, I’m getting raw and transparent about the spiritual warfare that recently hit my home. I’m sharing how the enemy attacked my mind with doubt and depression, and how I had to stop moving so fast to finally hear what God was teaching me.

What we’re diving into:

• The Reality of Warfare: Identifying the mental attacks that try to steal your peace and your spark.
• The Stress of Life: How the daily grind of kids, work, and chores can drain a marriage if you aren't intentional.
• The Hosea Mandate: Learning from the biblical call to love and buy back our spouses, just as Christ loves us.
• Building Endurance: Why marriage is a marathon and how to sow love even when you’re exhausted.

Marriage isn’t a game; it’s a commitment to fight for one another every single day. If you’re in a hard season, don't walk away—get in the Word, seek the Holy Spirit, and build the endurance to see it through.

"Love covers a multitude of sins."

Hey Believers, In this episode of the allenandeve podcast, we’re getting real about a recent moment where things got tense between us. Even after moments of deep repentance and confession, pride has a way of creeping back in and reopening old wounds.

We dive into:

• The "Microwave" Fix: Why we often expect instant healing in marriage when growth actually requires time and patience.
• The Battle of the Flesh: Using Romans 7 to understand why we often do the very things we don’t want to do, especially during an argument.
• Returning to Grace: How to apply the "patient and kind" love of 1 Corinthians 13 when your feelings are hurt.

Marriage isn't a game—it's a journey of constantly choosing humility over being "right". Whether you're in a season of peace or currently navigating a rough patch, we hope our transparency helps you find the path back to grace.

Timestamps

• 0:00 – When "I'm sorry" isn't enough
• 1:45 – The difference between patience and a "quick fix"
• 2:30 – Romans 7: The struggle of doing what we hate
• 4:15 – 1 Corinthians 13: Choosing love over pride
• 5:00 – A prayer for couples in conflict

Remember, it's Allan & Eve here to help you believe that marriage is not a game!!!

In this episode, we’re tackling the "scary" side of intimacy: bringing our darkest thoughts into the light. We often keep secrets—struggles with lust, wandering eyes, or internal battles—under the guise of "protecting" our spouse's feelings. But the truth is, lust thrives in the dark. It gains its power from the silence.

We break down why "being known" is more important than "being comfortable" and how sharing your internal struggles actually takes the power away from temptation. Drawing from Ephesians 5 and James 5, we discuss how to turn your spouse from a judge into a prayer partner.

What we cover:

• Why the "smooth surface" of a secret-filled marriage is a foundation of sand.
• The "How" of confession: Protecting your bond vs. venting to hurt.
• Moving from shame to healing through the power of the light.
• How to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23) by inviting your spouse to stand watch with you.

If you’re tired of the "dark corners" of your mind and ready for a marriage that is truly healed, not just "fine," this episode is for you.

Hey Believers, We’ve been married for seven years, and if we’re being honest, they’ve been seven of the best years of our lives. But lately, we realized we were still carrying some 'spiritual luggage' we never actually unpacked at the start."

"We’re talking about the patterns we set before we ever said ‘I do.’ Even after all this time, we felt a pull to go back and get it right—to break away from the spiritual hindrances of our past and build something completely new."

"So, we’re doing something radical. We have completed a 60-Day Fast. No sex. Just us, God, and the raw truth of our marriage."

"In this video, we’re pulling back the curtain on what it looks like to 'reset' a marriage after seven years. It’s uncomfortable, it’s eye-opening, and today, we’re starting with why we felt we had to stop the physical noise to finally hear what God was saying to our souls."

Remember, it's Allan & Eve here to help you believe that marriage is not a game!!!

Hey Believers, why is the transition from "child" to "spouse" so difficult for some families? In this episode, we’re having a transparent and relatable conversation about the invisible strings that keep families attached long after the "I Do’s."

We break down the two primary reasons why parents—especially mothers—struggle to let go, and why so many adult children are still leaning on their parents for everything from laundry to bills.

In this video, we discuss:

The Dependency Trap: Why being "helped" with every move might be hurting your marriage.

The Mother-Son Dynamic: Exploring why it's often harder for moms to release their sons.

The Spiritual Mandate: A deep dive into the "Leave and Cleave" principle and why it’s non-negotiable for a healthy Christian marriage.

Setting the Atmosphere: How to transition from listening to your parents to leading your own household.

Marriage is a spiritual union where two become one, but that can’t happen if one person is still tethered to the nest. Whether you're a newlywed or a parent struggling to let go, this conversation is for you.

Remember, it's Allan & Eve here to help you believe that marriage is not a game!!!

Hey Believers, Marriage was never designed to include constant interference, divided loyalty, or forced relationships with extended family. In this video, we have an honest and respectful conversation about protecting your marriage without bashing in-laws.

Many couples silently struggle because they feel pressured to gain family approval instead of standing united as husband and wife. When boundaries are not set early, resentment, confusion, and emotional division can slowly damage the marriage covenant.

In this discussion, we cover:

• Why is marriage a covenant between a husband and wife
• Personality, value, cultural, and family-of-origin differences
• Why incompatibility with in-laws does not mean rebellion, bitterness, or immaturity
• Why do some families struggle to release adult children after marriage
• The fear of being labeled “difficult” or “disrespectful.”
• Why boundaries are often only a problem for those who benefited from no boundaries
• How betrayal occurs when a spouse sides with family over their partner
• Who taught you that protecting your peace was selfish?
• When limited contact or no contact may be the healthiest choice

This video is for married, engaged, and anyone preparing for marriage who wants to honor God, protect unity, and establish healthy boundaries without guilt, anger, or dishonor.

📌 Marriage thrives when loyalty is clear, boundaries are respected, and peace is protected.

Hey Believers, in this video, I take full accountability for a decision I made that hurt my wife. I acted in a selfish moment, focusing on what I wanted rather than what was best for us. I didn’t pray before making the decision. I didn’t pause. I didn’t go through the proper steps or channels that honor marriage. And that lack of consideration caused pain.

Marriage requires intention, prayer, communication, and selflessness. When we move without God, without counsel, and without considering our spouse, we risk breaking trust and unity. This conversation is not about excuses—it’s about ownership, repentance, and growth as a husband.

If you’re married, engaged, or preparing for marriage, this message is a reminder that every decision—especially financial and personal ones—should be made with wisdom, prayer, and love. Growth begins when we are honest about where we fell short and choose to do better.

This video is for husbands who want to lead better, love deeper, and walk in accountability.

Remember, it's Allan & Eve here to help you believe that marriage is not a game!!!

Child support in blended families is one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics in marriage. In this video, we address a hard truth many couples avoid: what happens when the other parent does not pay child support, and the responsibility quietly shifts onto the marriage?

If you are married to someone who has children from a previous relationship, this conversation matters. When one parent fails to fulfill their legal and moral responsibilities, that burden often falls on the new household. At that point, it is no longer “his problem” or “her problem”—it becomes a team issue.

Marriage is not about keeping score. It is about unity, sacrifice, and walking in maturity. If you expect someone to help raise children brought into the marriage, you cannot reject the financial realities that come with that responsibility.

This message is for husbands, wives, step-parents, and anyone navigating blended family dynamics with wisdom, truth, and accountability.

📌 Watch, reflect, and share with someone who needs this conversation.