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Exploring the fascinating Japanese concept of kanjo (often translated as "grit") and how it intersects with self-affirmation techniques to create sustainable resilience without burnout.

• Kanjo encompasses perseverance, willpower, and drive to push through challenges toward achieving goals
• Traditional kanjo can create immense pressure when taken to extremes
• Nakashima's mountain climbing analogy: self-efficacy is believing you can climb; self-affirmation is figuring out how to climb when the path seems impossible
• The six senses of self-affirmation: self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-efficacy, self-trust, self-determination, and sense of usefulness
• Practical techniques include reframing negative thoughts, the four good things exercise, if-then planning, and small timeline visualization
• Self-affirmation acts as a counterbalance to kanjo, preventing burnout while maintaining determination
• Finding balance between striving for goals and honoring personal needs creates sustainable resilience
• The wabi-sabi spirit of embracing imperfection frees us from perfectionism while still pursuing growth

What does kanjo mean to you, and how can self-affirmation empower you to embrace that spirit in a way that feels authentic, balanced and fulfilling?


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The ancient Japanese concept of kanjo captures something deeper than the English word "grit" can convey. This powerful cultural value encompasses perseverance, inner strength, and unwavering determination—qualities that have helped generations navigate life's harshest storms.

But what happens when we apply this traditional wisdom to our modern, often overwhelming world? Drawing from the groundbreaking work of Japanese psychologist Teru Nakashima, we discover how self-affirmation techniques can transform kanjo from a potentially exhausting demand for perfection into a sustainable source of resilience and growth.

Through Nakashima's mountain climbing analogy, we distinguish between merely believing we can overcome obstacles (self-efficacy) and developing the adaptability to find our path even when it seems impossible (self-affirmation). His framework of six senses—self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-efficacy, self-trust, self-determination, and a sense of usefulness—provides a balanced foundation for cultivating inner strength without burning out.

We explore practical techniques like reframing negative thoughts, practicing daily gratitude through the "four good things" exercise, implementing if-then planning, and breaking down daunting goals through small timeline visualization. These tools help us maintain our kanjo spirit while honoring our humanity and limitations.

The true power emerges when we blend traditional kanjo with modern self-affirmation—creating resilience that doesn't require sacrificing our wellbeing. Like the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi (finding beauty in imperfection), this approach frees us from the pressure of perfectionism while still encouraging continuous growth.

What might your life look like if you embraced both the unwavering determination of kanjo and the compassionate self-awareness of Nakashima's teachings? How might you face challenges differently, with both strength and self-kindness as your companions?

Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem

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Futoko in Japan represents a protective response rather than a problem, with over 240,000 students absent from school for 30 days or more as they instinctively conserve energy when overwhelmed.

• School refusal often stems from overactivity in the amygdala, causing students to constantly perceive threats others might not notice
• Speaker Nakashima's "Tree of Self-Affirmation" illustrates how futoko relates to weakened self-esteem and self-acceptance
• Creating supportive environments involves shifting from "rescuing" to "accompanying" students through their healing journey
• Fathers can provide structural support by creating "self-determination zones" giving children 30% control over their space
• Mothers are encouraged to focus on affirming their child's existence rather than achievements
• Simple activities like observing the sky together can activate the prefrontal cortex and support emotional regulation
• Parents should resist forcing solutions and instead create environments where healing can happen naturally
• The experience of futoko can be reframed as a necessary transformation, similar to a caterpillar in a cocoon
• Success doesn't have to follow a linear path—sometimes detours lead to more authentic and fulfilling journeys

Futoko—Japan's phenomenon of school refusal—affects over 240,000 students annually, but what if we've been looking at it all wrong? This fascinating deep dive challenges traditional perspectives by exploring how futoko may actually represent a protective response rather than defiance or laziness.

Drawing from expert insights, we examine the neuroscience behind this phenomenon. Students experiencing futoko often display overactivity in their amygdala, essentially perceiving threats that others might not notice. Like a bird in a cage that eventually becomes still to preserve energy, these children aren't giving up—they're protecting themselves from overwhelming environments.

Through Speaker Nakashima's powerful "Tree of Self-Affirmation" analogy, we explore how futoko often stems from weakened self-esteem and self-acceptance. This remarkable framework illustrates the journey from basic self-esteem (roots) through to self-worth (fruit), offering a roadmap for supporting children through this challenging period.

The most transformative aspect of this exploration is the shift from "rescuing" to "accompanying"—recognizing that like trees in winter, apparent dormancy often masks profound internal growth. Parents are encouraged to create supportive environments where healing can happen naturally, with specific guidance for both mothers and fathers. From establishing "self-determination zones" that give children partial control over their space to simple activities like sky-watching that activate the prefrontal cortex, these practical strategies build resilience without forcing solutions.

By reframing futoko as a necessary transformation—like a caterpillar in a cocoon—we discover that these apparent detours might lead to more authentic and fulfilling paths. For anyone supporting a child through school refusal or interested in alternative perspectives on education and mental health, this episode offers profound insights into nurturing growth during life's challenging transitions.

Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem

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Teru Nakashima's refreshing approach to personal development cuts through typical self-help clichés with nuanced wisdom about our minds and potential. Unlike gurus who deal in absolutes, Nakashima embraces life's complexities with practical insights that feel both revolutionary and deeply intuitive.

His perspective on intuition as a double-edged sword challenges us to be discerning about our gut feelings, recognizing when emotions might be clouding our judgment. Rather than pursuing a singular "true self," Nakashima liberates us with the concept of multiple authentic selves – acknowledging that we naturally adapt to different contexts while remaining genuinely ourselves.

The "rewriting the failure script" technique offers a powerful way to transform how past disappointments affect us. Through visualization practices borrowed from sports psychology, we can shift our emotional responses to past events without denying reality. This pairs beautifully with his radical self-acceptance philosophy, which distinguishes between liking all parts of ourselves and simply acknowledging them as aspects of our whole being.

What truly sets Nakashima apart is his counterintuitive wisdom about confidence – that it typically follows action rather than preceding it. This perspective serves as an antidote to perfectionism and imposter syndrome, encouraging us to begin despite uncertainty. His seven-step goal achievement framework provides a structured approach while emphasizing self-awareness, specific actions, and continuous reflection.

Throughout his teachings, Nakashima weaves together practical techniques with profound insights about our inherent worth and interconnectedness with others. He reminds us that even individual achievements rest on a foundation of support from family, friends, mentors, and broader societal systems.

Whether you're feeling stuck in negative thought patterns, wrestling with self-doubt, or simply seeking a more authentic approach to personal growth, Nakashima's wisdom offers a refreshing alternative to one-size-fits-all self-improvement formulas. His message is clear: embrace your complexity, take action despite uncertainty, and trust that the universe responds when you commit to your path.

Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem