In July 2005, a pastor stood at his kitchen sink, poured a bottle of spirits down the drain, and fell to his knees on the floor and wept. He'd been preaching most Sundays for years, teaching in a theological college, and caring for a congregation, and drinking heavily every single day for about a decade while almost nobody knew. Someone in your church is living in that same gap this week. They're setting up the chairs, running the sound desk, teaching the four-year-olds, and going home to something they can't put down. In this episode, Graham tells his own story of addiction and recovery, and builds from it a theology of grace and a set of practices for the church. He's now been sober for more than twenty years, and he got there through God's grace, through his wife and family, through a doctor and a psychiatrist and a Christian counsellor, and through a church that carried him when he couldn't carry himself. Graham offers an account of addiction that holds four things together at once, a neurochemical dependence, an emotional refuge, a relational pattern, and a spiritual vacuum, and reads it through Augustine's restless heart, addiction as disordered love and misplaced worship, and the freedom of the one whom the Son sets free. He's honest about the second turning point, the ten years he stayed silent about the depression underneath the drinking, and about why so many people in our pews stay silent too, having noticed which sins get named from the pulpit with sympathy and which get named with contempt. He gives concrete practices a congregation can adopt this year, naming addiction from the front, knowing what to do when someone tells you, caring for the family, and supporting the leader who's struggling, and he names the wider picture too, including the conflict of interest that keeps gambling harm flowing through the most vulnerable communities in Australia. And he asks what it would take for a church to become a place where honesty is survivable. Book recommendation: "Unshackled: Breaking Addiction's Chains Through God's Grace" by Graham Joseph Hill, written after twenty years of sobriety for anyone still in the grip of something they can't put down. It walks through eight movements from denial to surrender, healing, forgiveness, amends, new habits, and community, with appendices mapping the Twelve Steps and the clinical picture. See the book on Amazon here: https://a.co/d/00Pdxeg6 If you're struggling, please reach out. In Australia: Lifeline 13 11 14, the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline 1800 250 015, Family Drug Support 1300 368 186, Gambling Help 1800 858 858, and Alcoholics Anonymous 1300 222 222. In the United States: 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, and 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline, with Al-Anon at al-anon.org and AA at aa.org. Every one of these is free, confidential, and answered around the clock. Wherever you're listening from, please find your local equivalents and talk to your doctor or a trusted person. Email us at GrahamPodcast@icloud.com See my Substack with an article related to this episode: https://grahamjosephhill.substack.com/ Podcast links: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GrahamJosephHillPodcast Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7aqTMTcoYPcvneL4xg4Ohv Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-graham-joseph-hill-podcast/id1890838919 Podbean: https://www.podbean.com/pw/pbblog-tsqgs-1534f12 Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/271b0dd3-990d-41e6-b4ba-3fd4bcf78cef iHeartRadio: https://iheart.com/podcast/329136112 Player FM: https://player.fm/series/3726148 Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-graham-joseph-hill-podcast-6435212 Boomplay: https://www.boomplaymusic.com/podcasts/143800