Paula Simpson – writer, marketing professional, New Zealander-in-Bangalore, and mother to five-year-old Sulaiman (Sulu) – joins Neha for one of Parenthoot's most unflinching conversations yet. Paula talks about missing her globe-trotting pre-mother life, navigating prenatal depression and PPD during a COVID lockdown far from home, sleep training in secret while her husband was away, and the razor-thin line she walks every day between work, marriage, and motherhood. She doesn't perform gratitude. She tells the truth.

Why You Should Listen

If you've ever quietly grieved the life you had before your child, felt guilty for missing your old self, or wondered whether the mental load ever actually lifts – this episode is for you. Paula speaks with the kind of clarity that only comes from having been to the edge and back. She's funny, sharp, and completely unfiltered. Equal parts relief and recognition.

Notable Quotes

• "I would be dead if I hadn't sleep trained him. 100 percent."
• "I bet your mother sometimes just could not wait for you to go to sleep and sat there and cried some nights because they missed what little freedom they had."
• "I feel like I'm walking on a very narrow razor and at any point I could slip. I'm just waiting to see what falls over –and hoping it's not too important."
• "It comes back eventually. Not today, but one day."

Practical Takeaways

• Prenatal depression is real and often goes unnamed. If something feels off during pregnancy, trust it and seek support early.
• Sleep deprivation is a mental health crisis in disguise. Addressing your child's sleep may be one of the most important things you do for your own wellbeing.
• The mental load doesn't disappear with hired help or family support – it travels with the mother. Acknowledging this is the first step to asking for real help.
• Building a local community of mothers with similarly-aged children is not a luxury – for many, it is survival infrastructure.
• Gentle parenting works best anchored in consistent routine and non-negotiable boundaries, not in the absence of rules.
• Science-backed parenting resources exist. Learning to evaluate studies (sample size, geography, methodology) helps cut through the noise of unsolicited advice.
• Emotional regulation in children starts with emotional regulation in parents. Sequestering yourself for two minutes is not failure – it is modelling.

Resources & References

• On Matrescence: https://matrescence.in
• On Postpartum Depression — iCall India (free counselling): icallhelpline.org — Vandrevala Foundation Helpline (24/7, India): 1860-2662-345 — Postpartum Support International: postpartum.net

About the Guest

Paula Simpson is a writer and marketing professional based in Bangalore, India. Originally from New Zealand, she has lived and worked across Europe, Asia, and the US. She runs a business with her husband Reza and is mother to Sulaiman, age five. Paula writes with wit and honesty about expat life, parenting, and everything in between – follow her on LinkedIn for the kind of posts Neha says you simply must read.

• Follow Paula on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saucyandspiceadventures/
• Connect with her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paula-simpson-9715b73a/

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