When adult children struggle to handle stress, responsibility, or uncertainty, parents want to know how to help them. But what if the most powerful influence isn’t what parents say or do for their adult children, but how they manage themselves?

In this episode of LAUNCH, I’m joined by Dr. Kate Lund, licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, TEDx speaker and best-selling author, for a conversation that shifts the focus where it belongs. We talk how adult children learn resilience by watching how their parents handle pressure, uncertainty, and discomfort, importance of being optimized and an excellent suggestion that anyone can start doing right away.

In her book Step Away, Kate Lund explores how resilience is built not through control, protection, or constant involvement, but through how parents manage their own stress, emotions, and reactions. The book challenges parents to step away from overfunctioning, emotional reactivity, and the urge to fix, and instead focus on strengthening their own capacity to tolerate discomfort, uncertainty, and imperfection.

Step Away emphasizes that children of all ages can learn resilience by watching how their parents respond to stress, setbacks, and pressure. By learning to regulate themselves, parents model the very skills their children need to develop, including coping, problem-solving, and emotional flexibility.

Dr. Kate’s book offers a framework for staying emotionally available and supportive, while stepping back from patterns that unintentionally weaken resilience and independence.

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It's not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it that will make the BIGGEST impact.

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