In this deeply reflective episode of Parenthoot with Neha, Neha Garg is joined by Bakula Nayak—artist, former brand strategist, long-time homemaker, and mother to two grown sons, Veer and Vikrant.

Bakula’s story spans over two decades of intentional motherhood: choosing to step away from a thriving corporate career, living across countries, raising children with presence and devotion, navigating illness, and now standing at the threshold of an emptying home.

The conversation moves fluidly through identity loss and evolution, the grief of no longer being the center of a child’s universe, marriage that grows quieter and deeper with time, parenting boys into kindness, and the invisible mental and emotional labour mothers carry—especially when illness enters the picture.

This is not a conversation about parenting “right.” It is about parenting honestly, living with consequence, and learning to make peace with the lives we choose—and the bodies we inhabit.

Why You Should Listen

• If you’ve ever struggled with guilt—for working, for not working, for resting, for being ill
• If you fear the day your child won’t need you the same way
• If you’re navigating marriage after the chaos of early parenthood
• If motherhood has reshaped your identity in ways you didn’t anticipate
• If you want to hear a rare, unromanticised account of long-term caregiving, sacrifice, and fulfillment

This episode offers language for emotions many parents feel but rarely articulate.

Notable Quotes

• “Life as I knew it was over. Like who I was, was over.”
• “The grieving of just not being the center of your child’s universe is hard.”
• “Maybe this was my job—to raise them and make them equipped to live independent lives.”
• “I thought my marriage was boring. Then I realized it wasn’t boring—it was peaceful.”
• “That mom guilt is so unnecessary and such a waste of mental bandwidth.”
• “You cannot love her child more than she does.”

Practical Takeaways for Listeners

• Motherhood has phases—and each phase carries its own grief. Independence can be a success and a loss at the same time.
• Illness is not a parenting failure. Children often rise to the occasion with empathy and capability.
• Mental load is real and gendered. Planning, remembering, worrying—these invisible tasks carry weight.
• Partnership matters more than perfection. Shared values, not identical styles, sustain families.
• You are allowed to trust the life you chose. Regret and gratitude can coexist.

Resources & References

On mental load & invisible labour:

• “The Mental Load” by Emma (comic series) – https://english.emmaclit.com
• "An Illustrated Guide to the Double Standards of Parenting" by Mary Catherine Starr - https://www.marycatherinestarr.com/my-comics

About the Guest

Bakula Nayak is an India-born, US-based artist whose work explores memory, nostalgia, motherhood, and domestic life through mixed media and vintage paper. Formerly a brand strategist working with global companies, Bakula chose to step away from corporate life to raise her children full-time.

Her journey includes long-term caregiving, chronic illness, creative rebirth, and a 25-year partnership built on steadiness and care. Her work and words reflect a life deeply lived, intentionally chosen, and thoughtfully examined.

Follow Bakula on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bakulanayak/

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