『516: The Man Who Was Fired Five Times』のカバーアート

516: The Man Who Was Fired Five Times

516: The Man Who Was Fired Five Times

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The Man Who Was Fired Five Times How Letting Go of Blame Can Transform Your Life Hosts: Kevin Cornelius, LMFT Dr. David Burns What if the biggest obstacle to your happiness isn't your depression, your anxiety, or even the difficult people around you? What if it's the belief that everyone else needs to change first? In this powerful episode of the Feeling Good Podcast, Dr. David Burns and host Kevin Cornelius, LMFT, discuss one of David's favorite therapy stories from his recent Psychology Today article, "The Man Who Was Fired Five Times." What begins as the story of a brilliant computer programmer who can't keep a job becomes an unforgettable lesson in overcoming resistance, building meaningful relationships, and discovering the extraordinary power of humility. This episode is packed with practical TEAM-CBT techniques, fascinating therapy demonstrations, and one of the most inspiring recovery stories you'll ever hear. In This Episode A Brilliant Man Who Couldn't Keep a Job David introduces us to "Bhagwant" (a pseudonym), an exceptionally gifted computer programmer who sought treatment after being fired five times in just two years. Although he initially came to therapy complaining of low self-esteem, David quickly noticed something much deeper. Bhagwant believed: His coworkers were conspiring against him.His bosses failed to appreciate his intelligence.Other people were the source of nearly all his suffering. Despite his obvious brilliance, his habit of blaming others had become the greatest obstacle to both his career and his happiness. Why David Didn't Try to Help Him...At First Instead of immediately offering therapy techniques, David did something surprising. He told Bhagwant that perhaps they shouldn't work together. Why? Because therapy would require Bhagwant—not his coworkers—to do all of the changing. Rather than arguing with Bhagwant or trying to convince him he was wrong, David used one of the most powerful TEAM-CBT methods: Dangling the Carrot By joining Bhagwant's resistance instead of fighting it, David completely changed the emotional dynamic. Instead of saying: "You're the problem." He essentially said: "You're right—it seems terribly unfair that you'd have to do all the work when everyone else is causing the problem." That paradoxical response immediately dissolved Bhagwant's resistance. Moments later, he admitted something he had hidden from David: He hadn't merely been placed on probation. He had already been fired—for the fifth time. Why Specificity Matters One of the central themes of the episode is David's insistence on working with specific moments instead of vague labels. Rather than treating "low self-esteem" as the problem, David asks: What happened?Where were you?What time was it?What exactly were you thinking? This "fractal" approach allows therapy to target the real thoughts creating emotional suffering instead of treating abstract diagnostic labels. As David explains, problems can only be solved when they're connected to a real moment in time. Recovery Begins with Practice Once Bhagwant committed fully to treatment, he became an extraordinarily dedicated student of TEAM-CBT. He learned to: Identify cognitive distortionsChallenge negative thoughts using Externalization of VoicesMaster the Five Secrets of Effective CommunicationReplace defensiveness with curiosity and empathy At one point, David actually had to limit Bhagwant's therapy homework because he was spending six to eight hours a day practicing. The Job Interview That Changed Everything Eventually Bhagwant received a job offer from a company in Florida. David gave him one final piece of surprising advice: Ask your new employer to agree to criticize you every single week. Specifically, David suggested requesting regular meetings where supervisors would openly point out mistakes so Bhagwant could practice using the Five Secrets and the Disarming Technique. The company agreed. The results were astonishing. Within weeks: He had developed excellent relationships with coworkers.He won Employee of the Month.He received multiple promotions.His salary doubled. Years later, David received a Christmas card that brought tears to his eyes. Bhagwant had become CEO of the very company that hired him. The Disarming Technique Much of the second half of the episode explores one of the most challenging—and most transformative—TEAM-CBT skills. What Is Disarming? Disarming means sincerely finding the truth in criticism, even when the criticism seems exaggerated or unfair. David explains what he calls the Law of Opposites: Defending yourself often convinces others the criticism is true.Agreeing sincerely with whatever truth exists often causes the criticism to lose its power. This simple paradox can dramatically transform difficult conversations. Live Role-Playing Kevin and David demonstrate the Disarming Technique through several live role plays. David criticizes Kevin as being: FakeInexperiencedPretending to know more than ...
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