Giving feedback, performance reviews, behavior assessments...They are some of the most dreaded conversations at work.

I don’t think I know anyone who looks forward to the feedback or performance review discussion, and for women, there's an extra layer of pressure (because there always is). As discussed in Episode 4 ( ) the pressure to be liked can make giving honest and specific feedback feel a bit risky.

This episode goes through five tips for giving feedback that actually help people improve the quality of the conversation AND the quality of the feedback itself:

1. Don't wait too long to give feedback

2. Be prepared for the conversation

3. Don't make it personal

4. Ask questions

5. Create an improvement action plan

This episode also addresses what research says about how feedback content tends to differ depending upon whether a man or woman is on the receiving end, and what you need to pay attention to as the one giving the feedback.

***Here's the book I mention in Tip #4 for improving listening skills and emotional regulation in difficult conversations: Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The Forgotten Skill (2nd ed.). Wiley.

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Sources cited in this episode:

Kouzes, J.M., & Posner, B.Z. (2023). The Leadership Challenge (7th ed.). Wiley.

Snyder, K. (2014, August 26). The abrasiveness trap: High-achieving men and women are described differently in reviews. Fortune.

Doldor, E., Wyatt, M., & Silvester, J. (2019). Statesmen or cheerleaders? Using topic modeling to examine gendered messages in narrative developmental feedback for leaders. The Leadership Quarterly, 30(5), Article 101308. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.leaqua.2019.101308 (Summarized for a general audience in: Doldor, E., Wyatt, M., & Silvester, J. (2021, February 10). Research: Men get more actionable feedback than women. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2021/02/research-men-get-more-actionable-feedback-than-women)

Jampol, L., & Zayas, V. (2021). Gendered white lies: Women are given inflated performance feedback compared with men. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 47(1), 57–69. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167220916622

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If the information contained in this episode gave you something to think about, Windrose Coaching and Consulting offers career and leadership skills mentoring and coaching to individuals seeking self-improvement. We also offer consulting services for small and micro businesses. To learn more about how we work, see our Services page.

Not ready to jump into services just yet? Start with our downloadable guide Communicate with Confidence: 8 Tips to Enhance Your Communication Skills and Increase Your Credibility.

AND COMING SOON: The Annual Review Companion 2027.

The Annual Review Companion 2027 is your guide to tracking your yearly progress so you can show up to your next annual review with alllllllll the receipts. Get yourself that raise and that promotion you deserve!

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