Have you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you actually created the very failure you were trying to avoid?

Or maybe you've tried something new behind the chair like a haircut you weren't comfortable with, a harder consultation, talking to someone about what you do and because it didn't come easily, you started thinking:

“Maybe I'm just not good at this.”

Maybe you've even said:

“I just don't get haircutting. Color comes so much easier to me, so maybe I'll just stick with that.”

Or maybe consultations feel awkward, so you tell yourself you're just not good at talking to people.

But what if none of that is actually true?

What if you're simply in a stage of learning that feels uncomfortable and you're allowing that feeling to decide what you're capable of?

In this episode of Cutting Through It, I'm sharing a story from when I was 15 years old and on the swim team. I was called in at the last minute to swim the 100 butterfly in place of our star swimmer.

Butterfly was actually my favorite stroke. I knew how to swim it.

But I got so inside my own head and put so much pressure on myself that when the race started, I took off swimming freestyle instead and got disqualified.

Looking back, I can see something I couldn't see at 15:

My talent didn't disqualify me. My identity did.

And I think we do this behind the chair more often than we realize.

Something feels hard. We don't understand it right away. We try it a few times and struggle. And pretty soon, instead of thinking, “I haven't learned this yet,” we start thinking, “I'm just not good at this.”

That's a very different story to tell yourself.

In this episode, I want to introduce you to something called the Learning Cycle and show you why these feelings can actually be a normal part of learning something new.

Once you understand where you are in that cycle, you can start asking yourself:

Is this really something I'm not capable of doing or am I simply uncomfortable because I haven't learned it yet?

Because there's a stage in learning where you suddenly become very aware of what you don't know.

And that's often the exact point where we want to quit.

But what if instead of quitting, you recognized it for what it was?

You're learning.

My hope is that after listening to this episode, you'll have a new way to look at those moments when you're frustrated, uncomfortable, or tempted to tell yourself, “I'm just not good at this.”

Because sometimes you don't need more talent.

You just need to stay in the learning process long enough to discover what you're actually capable of.

Don't confuse where you are in the learning cycle with who you are as a person.

And remember:

Confidence doesn't come before action. Identity comes before confidence.

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If you know a hairstylist who's been struggling with something new and starting to wonder whether she's just not good at it, share this episode with her.

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