Welcome to the fourth and final episode of our series on parenting teenagers. This time, Christy Herselman flies solo while Dr Claudia Gray is away—and she is tackling the topic every parent of a teen is wrestling with: screens.

With school holidays in full swing, Christy knows firsthand how tricky it can be to maintain healthy screen boundaries when downtime increases. She breaks down why the time our teenagers spend on screens matters—not just because of opportunity cost, but because every minute online is shaping their values, their self-esteem, their attention spans, and even their brains at a neurological level.

She unpacks the difference between good screen time and bad screen time, explaining why sitting together as a family watching sport is not the same as hours of short-form video on TikTok or Instagram Reels. She also introduces the concept of a digital footprint and challenges parents to consider not just what their teens are consuming, but what they are producing—what comments, images, and content are they putting out into the world?

Christy shares five practical tips for parents: make the device as safe as possible, stay present in your child's digital world, set clear boundaries around time, place, content, and behaviour, have ongoing conversations about everything from pornography to critical thinking, and above all, fight for connection. She reminds us that teenagers who fare best online are those who have deep, healthy, face-to-face connections offline.

And perhaps the hardest tip of all: lead by example. Our children are watching how we use our own screens.

If you are a parent of a teenager and feel like you are losing the battle against screens, this episode will give you the tools and encouragement to stay in the fight.

Dr Claudia Gray:

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/dr_claudia_gray/

Dr Claudia Gray’s Real Parenting and Paediatrics, Quivertree Publications 2025

https://www.takealot.com/dr-gray-s-real-parenting-paediatrics/PLID98849917

Christy Herselman:

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thechatdurban/

Books:

https://thechat.co.za/product-category/books/

Welcome to the third episode of our four-part series on adolescents. This time, we tackle one of the most fragile and important topics in a teenager's life: how they see themselves.

In this episode, Dr Claudia Gray and Christy Herselman explore the complex world of teen body image and self-esteem. What is body image, really? It is not just what you see in the mirror—it is the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that come with that reflection. And for teenagers navigating rapid physical changes, a developing sense of self, and the relentless influence of social media, it can feel like a perfect storm.

Claudia explains why adolescents are particularly vulnerable: their bodies are changing at different rates, they are suddenly aware of how they look to others, and their peers' opinions have become everything. Studies show that at least 40 percent of teenagers say social media makes them feel less confident about their appearance. Add to this the rise of filtered images and carefully curated feeds, and the gap between reality and the ideal becomes impossible to bridge.

They introduce the concept of "looksmaxxing"—a troubling trend, particularly among teenage boys, that promotes the idea that success, happiness, and romantic attention depend entirely on physical appearance. It is a misogynistic movement that pushes young men toward an unattainable ideal, and in extreme cases, has led to dangerous practices like bone smashing and even leg-lengthening surgery. If you have never heard of this, this conversation is essential listening.

But there is hope. Claudia and Christy discuss the signs of a healthy body image—being comfortable in your own skin, appreciating what your body can do, and not letting one bad photo ruin your day. They also share warning signs that your child may be struggling: constant comparison, avoiding social situations, and a mood that depends entirely on appearance.

Most importantly, they offer practical ways to support your teen.

If you are parenting a teenager who seems overly focused on appearance, or if you want to build a foundation of self-worth that will carry them through life, this episode is for you.

Dr Claudia Gray:

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/dr_claudia_gray/

Dr Claudia Gray’s Real Parenting and Paediatrics, Quivertree Publications 2025

https://www.takealot.com/dr-gray-s-real-parenting-paediatrics/PLID98849917

Christy Herselman:

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thechatdurban/

Books:

https://thechat.co.za/product-category/books/

Welcome back to the second episode of our four-part series on adolescents. Last time, we explored what is happening inside the teenage body and brain. This time, we look at how it all plays out—in their emotions, their friendships, and their relationship with you.

In this episode, Dr Claudia Gray and Christy Herselman tackle the emotional and social chaos of the teenage years. They start with a painful but relatable confession from a mother in a parenting group: "I don't like him at all right now." If you have ever felt this way, you are not alone. And more importantly, there is a reason for it.

Christy explains why the teenage brain is like a Ferrari with brilliant accelerators and terrible brakes. The amygdala—the emotional centre—is racing ahead, while the prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational decision-making, lags years behind. This is why teenagers can be impulsive, reactive, and seemingly unable to control their emotions. It is not a character flaw. It is biology.

They discuss why grunts and groans are not disrespect but often exhaustion, why "I hate you" usually means "I am not coping," and why the newfound scepticism that drives parents crazy is actually a vital developmental step toward becoming a competent adult.

The need to belong becomes everything. Friendships shift, frenemies appear, and sexual attraction enters the picture. Claudia and Christy explore why teenagers are so self-conscious—they have developed the ability to see themselves from the outside for the first time—and why this makes them crave respect and acceptance from peers.

But they also offer hope. Christy shares practical ways to hold space for teenagers: creating margin, prioritising connection over correction, and asking "how did that feel?" instead of "what mark did you get?" Claudia introduces the powerful metaphor of the bridge—adolescents must cross it alone, but we can stand beside it as their safety net.

Boundaries still matter, but they work best when discussed in advance. Open homes, inviting friends over, and keeping the physical basics—sleep, food, rest—in place all help teenagers navigate this rocky terrain.

If you are parenting a teenager and feeling distraught, disconnected, or even disliked, this episode will help you understand what is really going on—and give you the tools to stay connected through the storm.

Dr Claudia Gray:

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/dr_claudia_gray/

Dr Claudia Gray’s Real Parenting and Paediatrics, Quivertree Publications 2025

https://www.takealot.com/dr-gray-s-real-parenting-paediatrics/PLID98849917

Christy Herselman:

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thechatdurban/

Books:

https://thechat.co.za/product-category/books/