『#386 Out of Control Teens』のカバーアート

#386 Out of Control Teens

#386 Out of Control Teens

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What if your teen’s extreme behavior isn’t proof that you’re failing as a mom—but a sign that you simply need different tools? When your teen is disrespectful, defiant, anxious, aggressive, using substances, or struggling emotionally, it’s easy to wonder, Where did I go wrong? In this episode of Power Your Parenting: Moms of Teens, I talk with Dr. Scott Sells, family therapist and author of the newly revised Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager: Eight Strategies to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love. Dr. Sells reminds parents that extreme behavior often isn’t a “bad parenting” problem—it’s a tools problem. Drawing from decades of working with families as well as his own experience parenting twin teenage sons, he explains why parents need a balance of love and limits—or connection with correction. Dr. Sells explains why gentle parenting alone may fall short with teens who have extreme behavioral or emotional challenges. Teens need connection, but they also need clear guardrails. As he puts it, “rules without relationships lead to rebellion.” You’ll hear practical strategies for rebuilding connection, including catching your teen doing something right, creating intentional special outings, and staying committed to the relationship even when your teen initially pushes you away. We also explore the complicated question many moms face: Is this anxiety, trauma, neurodivergence, a mental health issue—or simply oppositional behavior? Dr. Sells discusses looking at both skill and will, reducing over-accommodation of anxiety, and examining how smartphones, instant gratification, nutrition, and family patterns may contribute to emotional struggles. Most importantly, this conversation offers hope. You don’t have to parent perfectly, and trying harder with the same strategies isn’t always the answer. Sometimes you need a new tool—one that helps you lower the drama, restore your authority, and rebuild the loving connection underneath all the conflict. Scott Sells, PhD, is the founder and developer of the evidence-based treatment models Parenting with Love and Limits and Family Systems Trauma, used by therapists across the United States and Europe. He earned his PhD and MSW from Florida State University and has served as a professor of social work at Savannah State University and the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. He has delivered keynotes for major mental health organizations and authored more than 20 professional publications. Dr. Sells is the author of three books, including the newly revised Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager: Eight Strategies to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love, Treating the Traumatized Child, and Treating the Tough Adolescent. 3 Key Takeaways 1. It may not be a parenting problem—it may be a tools problem. When the strategies you’ve always used stop working, trying harder isn’t necessarily the solution. You may need a different, more specialized tool. 2. Teens need both love AND limits. Connection without boundaries can leave teens without needed guardrails, while rules without a relationship can fuel rebellion. The goal is balanced parenting: connection with correction. 3. Look beneath the behavior. Disrespect, defiance, anxiety, or withdrawal may be the surface problem. Getting curious about what is driving the behavior—and then choosing the right tool—can help parents move from constant firefighting toward real change. Learn more at https://familytrauma.com/dr-scott-sells/ Follow at: https://www.instagram.com/familytraumainstitute/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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