『347 — The One Question That Will Tell You Whether Your Go-To Coping Skill Is Actually Helping You With Dr. Celeste Birkhofer』のカバーアート

347 — The One Question That Will Tell You Whether Your Go-To Coping Skill Is Actually Helping You With Dr. Celeste Birkhofer

347 — The One Question That Will Tell You Whether Your Go-To Coping Skill Is Actually Helping You With Dr. Celeste Birkhofer

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When something goes wrong in your day—bad news, a disagreement with a loved one, or a tough rejection—what do you actually reach for to cope? Most of us have one move. We drink, we scroll, we run, we clean, we call someone. And it probably works—which is why we keep doing it. But my guest today says that's where the trouble starts. Every coping strategy you have began as your best attempt at getting a need met. And when you only have one move, even a good one can turn into something that no longer serves you. My guest is Dr. Celeste Birkhofer, a licensed clinical psychologist and adjunct clinical faculty at Stanford Medical School's Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. Her new book is Beyond Quick Fixes. Some of the things we discuss are: Why your one go-to coping skill probably started as a solution — and how to tell when it's crossed into something that's costing you The difference between a quick fix that helps you (like slow breathing when your heart is pounding) and one that's harming you Why some of your greatest strengths—being driven, being independent, being agreeable—might also be the things holding you back The two ingredients every real change requires (and why insight alone almost never gets you there) Dr. Birkhofer's story of using food to cope in college — and how she traced it back to what she learned about handling emotions as a kid The writing exercise that helps you connect the dots between your childhood and your current patterns without shame The three parts of yourself and why one of them needs to be in the driver's seat Why the people closest to you sometimes push back when you try to change and how to tell if they're drawing out your best or keeping you stuck The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for building coping skills that actually work Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠330 — The Real Reason Your Coping Skills Aren't Helping (It's Not You) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠332 — Should You Sit With Your Feelings or Change How You Feel? The One Question That Decides It Links & Resources Beyond Quick Fixes Connect with the Show Buy a copy of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with Amy on Instagram —⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@AmyMorinAuthor⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign Up for My Newsletter —⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amymorinlcsw.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sponsors Lola Blankets - Head to⁠⁠⁠⁠ LolaBlankets.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code STRONGER to get 40% OFF your order. AirDoctor — Head to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AirDoctorPro.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and use promo code STRONGER to get UP TO $300 off today! One Skin — Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠oneskin.co/STRONGER⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code stronger to get up to 30% off your first 3 subscription orders Quince — Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/stronger⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns! Boll & Branch — Get 20% off sitewide at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BollAndBranch.com/stronger⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with code stronger. Square — Get up to $200 off Square hardware at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠square.com/go/STRONGER⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Dupe — Go to⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dupe.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠to finally feel confident about what to buy. ...
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