“We are now competing in conversation with someone’s feed.”

Connecting with others requires more than knowing what to say. The signals we send through our body language, the questions we ask, and even where we position ourselves can shape how others experience a conversation. In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, behavioral researcher and author of Cues and Captivate, Vanessa Van Edwards joins Matt Abrahams to explore the subtle cues that make communication more engaging. She shares strategies for navigating networking events, sparking more meaningful conversations, and signaling the warmth and competence that shape charisma and connection.

Takeaways:

• Connection starts before you speak. Visible palms, eye contact, positioning, and other nonverbal cues can signal warmth and openness, shaping how others experience an interaction from the start.
• Better conversations spark curiosity. Moving beyond routine small talk with engaging questions, surprising stories, and genuine enthusiasm can make interactions more memorable and meaningful.

Activity:

• Create a conversational feed. Start a note on your phone and collect three things from your week—a surprising moment, an interesting observation, or a small win. Bring one into your next networking event or meeting as “conversational confetti” instead of defaulting to routine small talk.

Printable Expanded Takeaways & Activities

Episode Reference Links:

• Vanessa Van Edwards
• Vanessa’s Books: Cues / Captivate
• Ep.301 Trust at First Sight: Create More Meaningful Connections

Connect:

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• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (00:37) - Why Your Hands Matter
• (02:20) - Networking With Confidence
• (05:34) - Make Small Talk More Engaging
• (09:03) - The Science of Charisma
• (13:11) - Conclusion

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