30. When Your Elderly Parent Says "I'm Ready to Check Out"
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30. When Your Elderly Parent Says "I'm Ready to Check Out"
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Your 90 year old mom looks at you and says it plainly. "I'm tired and I'm ready to check out." What do you even say back? Most families never get this far. They avoid the conversation altogether, or they only have it in the middle of a crisis, guessing at what their parent really wants because nobody asked while there was still time.
That's exactly the gap today's guests spend their careers closing. Dr. Gary Lee, a hospice and palliative care physician, and Pastor Larry Wildemuth, a hospital chaplain of 29 years, both with the Coda Alliance join me to talk about the Go Wish Cards a simple deck of 36 cards that turns one of life's hardest conversations into something families can actually sit down and do together. We get into how the cards were created, how to introduce them to a parent without it feeling heavy, and the other planning tools worth having on your radar.
It's a conversation, not a to-do list. Start with one card, one question, one honest moment with your parent — that's enough to begin. Want to try the online version for yourself? https://codaalliance.org/go-wish-game/
👉Overwhelmed by the fear of what's next with your parent. Let's talk it through. My Parent Planning Call is a 60-minute 1:1 conversation to help you get clarity and real next steps, no judgment, no cookie-cutter advice.
Book here: https://calendly.com/trinagonzalez/parent-planning-call
In This Episode
- How a stack of 3x5 index cards turned into a tool now used in 13 languages
- Why sorting cards into piles can open up conversations a checklist never could
- The gentle way to ask a parent to go through this with you
- A simple way to talk through your advance directive before you ever fill out a form
- The three-step process families skip: talk about it, write it down, and get it to the doctor
Resources Mentioned
- Coda Alliance (Go Wish Cards): https://codaalliance.org/
- Coda Alliance Resource Page: https://codaalliance.org/gowish-faq/
- PREPARE for Your Care (plain-language advance directives, all 50 states): https://prepareforyourcare.org/