Ask Us A Question

Somewhere tonight, there's a couple lying in bed back to back, both wide awake, and neither one is saying anything. They're both asking the same silent question: is this just a rough patch, or is our relationship dying?

Maybe you know that question. Maybe you're the one walking on eggshells, always the one trying to start the conversation while your partner shuts down, walks away, or doesn't respond. Maybe you're exhausted and honestly don't know what else to try, or how much more you can take. Or maybe you've stopped telling yourself anything at all, because the silence in your house has started to feel less like peace and more like a canyon of distance.

In this episode, we give you the six signs they probably should have given you a long time ago: three that say rough patch, and three that say this is something more. Because after almost two decades of sitting with couples in crisis, Staci has watched the same two mistakes cost couples everything. Some waited out something that was never going to pass on its own. Others nearly walked away from a relationship that was simply having a hard season. You can't pick the right remedy until you know what problem you're solving.

You'll hear two client stories, one from each side of that line, including a husband who decided to end his marriage for a reason that will stop you in your tracks. And whichever side you're on, Staci hands you one litmus test question to sit down and ask your partner this week. How that question lands will tell you more about where you are than months of guessing ever could.

We won't tell you whether to stay or go. We never will. But by the end of this conversation, you'll finally know which problem you're actually living with, and the one thing you can do about it this week.

Plus a Follow the Fun challenge called the pleasure pause (twenty minutes, zero productivity allowed) and our song of the week, "Bad Advice" by Cat Eaton.

If one of these signs made your stomach drop, don't wait until the house is on fire. Book a private session with Staci at stacibartley.com/private-sessions. Your partner doesn't have to be ready for you to start. And if you're not sure where your relationship actually stands, take the free Better Love Quiz at betterlovequiz.com. Stop guessing what problem you're solving.

And come hang out with us live! Starting Monday, July 27th, we're going live every Monday at 1:00 PM PST / 4:00 PM EST on Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook. Bring your questions.

Remember: love isn't enough, but skills are. Learn them, practice them, and live them today.

Timestamps:
02:44 Why We Misread the Signs
05:01 Hope and the Land of Maybe
07:27 Rough Patch Sign One Repair
09:11 Rough Patch Signs Two and Three
11:50 When Rough Patches Turn
18:15 Not a Rough Patch Contempt
21:13 Living Separate Lives Together
23:33 Avoidance Shrinks Your World
25:37 Running Out of Fuel
26:43 Contempt Signals Breakdown
26:48 Imagining Life Apart
29:04 Emotions Drive Behavior
32:53 Love But Not In Love
35:29 Silence Is Not Peace
36:16 Face Reality Seek Help
42:00 Client Story Rough Patch
45:10 Client Story Deep Crisis
48:29 One Question Litmus Test
51:20 Repair Skills And Quiz