Mom brain is real, but society is working against it. That is the idea Nicole Hackett is selling and before she even finished explaining it, Krista was done...sold - immediately.

Nicole is a biochemical patent agent, a mom of two, a podcast host, and the author of the new novel Mom Brain. Her argument is this: what we casually call "mom brain" — the forgetfulness, the scatter, the feeling of being pulled in ten directions at once — is not a punchline. It is one of the most significant neurological events a woman's brain will ever go through.

Researchers can look at a brain scan and tell you which one belonged to a mother. The changes are that profound. And yet society sends women back to work four months postpartum and expects them to perform exactly as they did before. Nicole's case is that by doing that, we're not asking women to push through. We're asking them to fight their own biology. And that fight is exhausting.

Nicole explains the science of synaptic pruning — the neurological process that happens during pregnancy where the brain strips away what isn't relevant to raising a child and strengthens what is. The parts of the brain associated with empathy, human connection, and reading people get sharper. Which, as Nicole points out, is not a liability. It is a superpower. It made her a better fiction writer. It made her better at her job. It changed the way she moves through the world.

But Nicole is not just selling the science. She is selling the story. She wrote six books before selling her debut. She collected hundreds of rejections over years, all while building a demanding career and raising two kids under six. She goes to Starbucks every morning for an hour before her workday starts — that is where the books get written. And she talks honestly about what it costs to do all of that with a brain that is, by design, wired to be thinking about her children. The mom guilt that runs in the background while you are trying to do your job. The moment you miss muffins with mom and spiral. The realization that the guilt is not a character flaw — it is biology. And that realizing it is the first step to working with it instead of against it.

This is also the episode where Krista shares her own story — going back to work full time after her first daughter, feeling like a completely different person, and being told it was just hormones. It wasn't just hormones.

If you are a working mom, a postpartum mom, or anyone who has ever felt like a different person after having children and been told to just get back to normal — this one is for you.

IN THIS EPISODE

[0:00] Welcome — Nicole Hackett and the idea worth buying
[3:15] The Sell: mom brain is real, and it is not what you think
[5:30] What actually happens to a woman's brain during pregnancy
[9:00] Synaptic pruning, empathy, and why researchers can identify a mother's brain on a scan
[12:00] Society's expectations of postpartum women — and why they are working against biology
[15:00] Nicole's Tuesday: patent agent, mom of two, author, podcast host — and Starbucks at dawn
[19:30] Six books, hundreds of rejections, and the personality type that doesn't quit
[25:00] Did motherhood change the writing? Yes. Here is exactly how.
[30:00] Mom brain and mom guilt — why they are completely intertwined
[34:00] The Solution: stop white-knuckling it and acknowledge what is actually happening
[38:00] The objections: if dads can compartmentalize, why can't moms?
[42:00] The Stakes: what it costs to keep treating this as a personal failing
[45:00] The superpower — what mom brain gives you that you didn't have before
[48:00] Mom Brain the novel: the science inside the fiction
[52:00] Where to find Nicole and get the book

KEY QUOTE
"Your brain is now wired to focus on your children. So instead of white-knuckling it and telling yourself you shouldn't feel this way — acknowledge that you do. And then go from there." — Nicole Hackett

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Synaptic pruning — the neurological process that restructures a woman's brain during pregnancy
Mom Brain by Nicole Hackett — available wherever you buy books, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and your local indie bookstore
Audiobook available — and Nicole says the narrator is fantastic

Connect with Nicole:
nicolehackettbooks.com

Connect with us:
Instagram: @SheSellsHeSellsPodcast
YouTube: She Sells He Sells Podcast