Send us a text

Welcome to 2026—the year the universe decides to hold down the power button and perform a total factory reset. If 2025 felt like a long, weird waiting room, 2026 is the moment the doors fly open and the landscape has completely changed.

In this deep-dive forecast, Juan and River bridge the worlds of Appalachian Folk Magic, Latin American Curanderismo, and Astro-Science to help you navigate a year where three major outer planets are shifting their "vibes" all at once.

In this episode, we’re bitchin’ about:

• The "Resolution Industrial Complex": Why January 1st is the worst time to start a gym habit and why "winter sleep" is a biological necessity.
• The Uranus Brain-Scramble: How to keep your nervous system from frying as Uranus moves into Gemini.
• The End of Performative Magic: Why the Leo/Aquarius eclipses are coming for your ego (and your Instagram feed).

And we’re witchin’ with:

• The 0° Aries Point: How to harness the "Big Bang" energy of the Saturn-Neptune conjunction on Feb 20th.
• Threshold Lore: A look at ancestral New Year traditions, from the Twelve Grapes and Yellow Underwear to the First Foot and Black-Eyed Peas.
• Kitchen Medicine: Juan’s herbal prescriptions for the Aries fire and River’s scientific approach to grounding your "Uranian" anxiety.

The take-away? Don't fear the reset. Just buy more candles, plant more garlic, and stop trying to bloom in a frost.

2026 Cosmic Cheat Sheet & Show Notes

The 2026 "Big Three" Transits

The 2026 Eclipse Cycle

• 02/17/26 (Lunar Eclipse in Leo): Finalizing lessons on self-worth.
• 08/12/26 (Total Solar Eclipse in Leo): The "Phoenix" moment. A major identity reset.
• 08/28/26 (Partial Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius): Shifting from "Me" to "We." Finding your true coven.

Juan’s Folk Magic Remedies

• For the Aries Big Bang (Protection):
  • The Rue (Ruda) Cleanse: Use a bundle of fresh Rue dipped in Florida Water to sweep the body downward. It clears the "stuck" energy from 2025.
  • Cascarilla (Eggshell Powder): Draw a line across your front door threshold in February to keep Saturn’s "heavy" gloom from entering your sanctuary.
  • For the Cancer Transit (Kitchen Magic):
• Abundance Pot: Simmer cinnamon, orange peels, and cloves on the stove in June to welcome Jupiter’s expansive energy into the walls of your home.

River’s Appalachian & Science-Based Remedies

• For the Uranus Scramble (Nervous System):
  • Lavender & Agate: Keep a piece of Blue Lace Agate on your desk to stabilize communication. Use Lavender tincture to soothe the GABA receptors when the "digital noise" gets too loud.
  • Mugwort Tea: To be taken before bed during the Saturn/Neptune conjunction to help translate "dream messages" into "waking actions."
• For the Leo Eclipse (Ego Work):
  • Mirror Ritual: On August 12, place a mirror face down on your altar to "catch" the old ego. Wash the mirror with spring water the next morning to symbolize a clean slate.

Homework for the Listeners

1. Locate 0° Aries in your birth chart. This house is where you are being "rebooted."
2. Locate the Cancer house in your chart. This is where your luck and "harvest" will manifest in the second half of 2026.
3. Clean your tech! Before April, delete old emails and "ghost" energies to prepare for Uranus in Gemini.