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  • Bert's Not Dead | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    Bert's Not Dead | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    2026/02/09
    SPONSORS: - Sponsored by Pepsi. Go try Pepsi Zero Sugar today. Let Your Taste Decide. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code BEARS at https://bluechew.com - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears - Sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears - Head to https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. - Get up to 55% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. This week on Two Bears, One Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer spiral gloriously through brand loyalty, fast-food hot takes, donuts, Super Bowl commercials, health scares, and the kind of brutally honest conversations only best friends can have. The Bears break down why Pepsi Zero Sugar might actually be better than Coke Zero, debate McDonald’s fries vs. literally everyone else, and revisit classic brand wars like Burger King vs. McDonald’s and Dunkin’ vs. Krispy Kreme. From Blooming Onion horror stories to why you should never order seafood at a steakhouse, this episode is packed with food takes that will absolutely start arguments. Bert also opens up about his recent blood clot scare, panic attacks, medications, and how the experience completely shifted his perspective on health, mortality, and gratitude. The guys also talk sleep apnea machines, Benadryl addictions, Mounjaro side effects, testosterone confusion, and why medical advice somehow never agrees ever. Plus: donut shop conspiracies in Los Angeles, Cambodian vs. Vietnamese sandwich excellence, Krispy Kreme’s wild history, Instagram’s “fatties eating” algorithm, tracking down Ari Shaffir in the jungle, and why the 2 Bears 5K might literally save lives. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 324 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:06 - Brand Wars 00:07:07 - Weight Loss Drugs 00:14:58 - Pepsi Challenge 00:22:40 - I Bought A Donut Shop 00:39:22 - Coin Pusher 00:40:54 - 2 Bears 5K Is Back! 00:45:13 - Bert's Blood Clot 00:49:38 - Where In The World Is Ari Shaffir? 00:54:39 - Black Appreciation 01:00:41 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 時間 2 分
  • The End Of Humanity | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    The End Of Humanity | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    2026/01/12
    SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears The OG Bears are back on this absolutely unhinged episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura dive headfirst into VR porn disasters, accidental virtual orgies, and the terrifying realization that Oculus might actually be ending humanity. Bert recounts a weekend alone that spirals into nine virtual orgies, soul-stealing eye contact, and panic-induced controller fumbling in a pitch-black room. The Bears also unpack loneliness, online hate comments, incel psychology, and how social media gives angry dudes a place to scream just to feel noticed. From there, things somehow get deeper: wealth guilt, excess consumption, purging hundreds of shoes and jackets, Mounjaro weight loss, beating Jelly Roll in the next 2 Bears 5K, parenting chaos, friendship evolution, Jake Paul as a “god,” and why success is always part luck. Enjoy the Bears while they're here. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 323 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York: call 8778- HOPENY or text HOPENY. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777 or visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:14 - Bert's First Threesome 00:05:58 - Mean Comments 00:13:05 - Hanging With The Kids During Christmas 00:30:02 - Stroke Of Luck 00:34:11 - Excess & Purging Stuff 00:44:05 - Weight Loss, Mounjaro & Jelly Roll 00:55:15 - Jake Paul Is A God? 01:01:01 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 時間 2 分
  • The Summer Bears Came For The Winter | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    The Summer Bears Came For The Winter | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    2025/12/15
    SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://Ethos.com/BEARS - Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS you’ll get the welcome kit, a Morning Person hat, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, a AG1 Flavor Sampler and you’ll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free. - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. Christmas CAME early! The Summer Bears are now the *Winter Bears* and they have returned to phone it in and fulfill some contractually obligated laughs. Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias invade YMH Studios to talk awful breakfast decisions, Bert’s cruise from hell, fat-guy medicine science, Husky-induced life chaos, bombing on MTV, fighting GLP-1 drugs, Mike Tyson saving Big Pun at The Tunnel, and why both of them should never own pets, houses, or functioning digestive systems. It’s chaotic, barely prepared, medically concerning, and absolutely perfect. Enjoy! https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 319 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:29 - Slutty Little Breakfast 00:07:14 - Podcast Polyamory 00:14:15 - Chrissy Housing Crisis 00:21:35 - Stavros Vs Fat Guy Medicine 00:31:48 - Fat Joe, Guy Code, & Graveyard Of Failed Shows 00:46:14 - Maybe The Worst Dog Ever 00:56:17 - Geopolitical Shenanigans & NYC Mayors 01:08:11 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 時間 9 分