When you find out your child is harming themselves, you’re thrown into a world you don’t understand.

Fear hits first. Then confusion. Maybe even anger.
Is this a cry for help? Is it manipulation? Is my child suicidal?
And most of all… what am I supposed to do?

If your teen is self-harming, you’re not alone in these questions. And you’re not failing as a parent.

In this conversation, I sit down with therapist Courtney Deadman to unpack what teen self-harm actually is, and what it isn’t. Because so much of what parents believe about self-harm keeps them stuck in fear, reactivity, and disconnection… when what their teen or young adult kid needs most is something very different.

We talk about why self-harm is often a coping mechanism (not necessarily a suicide attempt), why punishment and consequences can make things worse, and how you can begin to approach your teen in a way that builds trust instead of shutting them down.

In this episode on when your teen or young adult kid is self-harming, we discuss:

• What self-harm actually means (and why it’s more nuanced than you think)
• The difference between self-harm and suicidal intent
• Why some teens use self-harm as a coping mechanism
• The biggest mistakes parents make when they discover self-harm
• Why consequences and punishment often backfire
• How to talk to your teen without judgment or fear taking over
• What “harm reduction” looks like and why it matters
• The role of curiosity, trust, and connection in your response towards your struggling teen
• How self-harm shows up differently across genders
• Why supporting yourself as a parent is essential in this process

More about Courtney Deadman

Driven by a genuine passion for human growth, Court sees therapy as a collaborative, sometimes messy, but ultimately transformative process. Her goal isn’t perfection - it’s helping people reclaim ownership of their lives and move forward on their own terms. They balance compassion with accountability, helping clients make sense of their experiences without minimizing the impact of trauma. Whether working through longstanding wounds or recent upheaval, she focuses on empowering individuals to reconnect with their own resilience, voice, and capacity for change.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.