Ten weeks in Bali and I'm fried.

I came out here to up my content game, and in some ways I have. But I'm shattered. The agency, the podcast, the YouTube, the vlogs. I hired an editor over a month ago and somehow I'm still spending just as much time on revisions, feedback and SOPs as I was before.

So this one is completely off the cuff. No script, no polish, just me in a guest house talking through what's actually going on in my head.

I get into the strange day I looked at my Spotify analytics and saw a huge spike, and how the first thing I felt was not excitement but fear. I talk about whether I even want this to take off, the kind of person who tends to get famous being the exact kind of person who probably shouldn't, and the clip that suddenly pulled in a whole new audience while alienating another.

There's also the slightly mad realisation that I'm making a clip of myself saying I don't want more people to see my stuff, because I want more people to see it.

In this episode:

- Why ten weeks of hard content work hasn't given me the payoff I expected

- The Spotify spike that made me shake, and why fear showed up before joy

- Whether I actually want fame or just a bit of micro niche recognition

- The "girls vs women" clip, and getting two opposite signals at once

- Laughing at myself on camera, and the shy person underneath all of it

- Whether to gate my work, charge for it, or build something I can actually live from

- No guest this week. Just me, unedited, real life from a guest house in Bali.

🎙️ MY STUFF

Awaken Out of Context: https://awakenoutofcontext.com

The Chapter System: https://thechaptersystem.com