117.I Was Called A B-Grader And I Didn't Take It Well (How to Receive Feedback)
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Why do some comments stay with us for years while others roll right off our backs?
In this episode, Joey Vaillancourt explores the hidden reason feedback feels so personal and why criticism often triggers something much deeper than the conversation itself.
Using a personal story about receiving difficult workplace feedback, Joey breaks down the beliefs, emotions, and unconscious patterns that shape how we respond when someone points out a weakness, challenge, or blind spot.
You'll learn how to receive feedback with a growth mindset, separate facts from stories, and use criticism as a tool for self-leadership rather than self-judgment.
If you're a high performer who struggles with criticism, overthinking, or feeling not enough, this episode will give you a practical framework for responding differently.
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Topics Covered
• Why feedback feels threatening
• Constructive feedback vs personal identity
• How to stop taking criticism personally
• The beliefs driving emotional reactions
• The Real Influence Ladder framework
• Emotional regulation during difficult conversations
• Receiving feedback with a growth mindset
Timestamps
00:00 The Feedback That Haunted Me for Years
01:05 Why Feedback Feels Personal
02:13 The Belief Behind Every Reaction
03:21 Feedback Is a Mirror, Not a Verdict
04:22 The "B Player" Story
06:38 Why Meaning Creates Suffering
09:02 What Feedback Meant Growing Up
10:16 Separating Facts From Stories
11:08 A Real-Life Example at Home
13:20 The Question That Changes Everything
15:03 The Real Influence Ladder
18:56 Feedback as Information, Not Identity
21:18 The Gift Hidden Inside Criticism
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https://joeyvaillancourt.com/the-30-day-challenge/
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About:
Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence — a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure — this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.