If you’ve ever felt like you’re too much in relationships — too anxious, too sensitive, too afraid they’ll leave — this episode will change how you see yourself.

Join host Ashley-Ann on Beyond the Surface as she sits down with Relationship & Anxiety Therapist Valerie Rubin to uncover the truth about anxious attachment healing and what it really takes to create secure, lasting love.

You’ll learn:

1. Why talk therapy alone isn’t enough to heal attachment trauma

2. How somatic healing and nervous system regulation create real emotional safety

3. The science behind breaking trauma bonds and attraction to emotionally unavailable partners

4. How inner child healing and brainspotting therapy help rewire old patterns

5. The first steps to feeling calm, confident, and connected in relationships

If you’ve been stuck in cycles of overthinking, people-pleasing, or fearing abandonment, this conversation will help you begin your CPTSD healing journey, rebuild self worth and love, and learn how to feel safe in relationships — starting with yourself.

Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/wordsbyashleyann/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wordsbyashleyann

https://thestudiopress.co/

Connect with Valerie:

https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

https://www.valrubin.com/

https://www.healmyanxiousattachment.com/

https://open.spotify.com/show/1UZDfyhUZgAGIdlEv5VP85?si=9e5fe991a4f34a79

Download Valerie's FREE meditation "How to Heal Your Fear of Abandonment" https://stan.store/healwithval

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Valerie's Journey to Therapy

03:35 Understanding Anxious Attachment

06:16 Cycles of Emotional Unavailability

09:38 Fantasy Thinking in Relationships

12:18 Navigating Parental Relationships

15:10 Compassion and Healing

17:45 Attachment Styles in Different Relationships

19:55 The Limitations of Talk Therapy

23:08 The Importance of Somatic Therapy

27:53 Understanding Safety in the Body

30:08 Navigating Difficult Conversations

34:22 Processing Emotions Before Conflict

37:33 Building Self-Trust and Inner Validation

41:24 Curiosity, Courage, and Compassion in Self-Discovery