Book Featured: Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields, MSAE

Episode Focus: Part 3 of 4 (Chapters 5 & 6)

Hosts: Megan Riesgo, LCPC, PMH-C & Joy Walsh, LCSW, PMH-C

In Episode 103, hosts Megan and Joy dive into Chapters 5 and 6 of Hunter Clarke-Fields’ Raising Good Humans. This episode focuses on communication, exploring how reflective listening builds deep connection and heals family dynamics. We unpack the vital question—"Whose problem is it?"—and learn why parents don't need to fix everything.

Featuring insights from Somatic Experiencing and Thomas Gordon's "I-Messages," we share practical shifts for caregiver boundaries, everyday language, and the core mantra: Connect Then Correct.

00:30 – Chapter 5: Listening to Help and Heal (Choice of words matters)

01:45 – Unpacking "A Mindful Approach to Problems"

02:00 – Reframing behavior: Children are just trying to get needs met

02:40 – The boundary question: "Whose Problem Is It?"

03:00 – Why we don’t need to solve all of our children's problems

03:30 – Age-appropriate communication and "we problems"

05:25 – Slowing down to explore a child’s perspective

06:45 – Regulating the stress response via somatic exercises

07:30 – "How Listening Heals" (Adults grounding their own nervous systems first)

08:10 – Flexibility, self-compassion, and non-judgmental listening to cultivate connection

09:50 – "What Not To Say": Real-world examples and scenarios

12:10 – Barriers to Communication: The impact of dismissing feelings

12:40 – Acknowledging growth friction: "Change Isn’t Easy"

13:35 – "Reflective Listening In Action"

14:35 – Learning to "Pay Attention Mindfully"

16:00 – Using reflective listening to bridge to deep empathy

17:00 – Ch. 6: Saying the Right Things

17:45 – Looking at caregiver needs through Maslow’s Hierarchy

18:50 – Modeling healthy boundaries by honoring your own

19:00 – Recognizing the deep value of caregivers for little humans

20:15 – Keeping perspective: "Children are immature by definition"

21:20 – Shifting intentions by shifting language

21:35 – The conflict trap: The problem with aggressive "You-Messages"

22:30 – Shifting the dynamic: Exploring "I-Messages"

23:00 – Thomas Gordon's 1970 Parent Effectiveness Training framework

26:20 – Expecting resistance: Why "I-Messages" require repetition

27:40 – The core mantra: "Connect Then Correct"

28:00 – Grounding speech: "Using the Friend Filter"

29:15 – Kids' Book Review: The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld

30:30 – Wrap-up: Hunter Clarke-Fields’ Mindful Parenting course & Mindful Mama podcast

• Somatic Experiencing Resources: traumahealing.org
• Parenting Support: Postpartum Support International at www.postpartum.net

DISCLAIMER: This podcast does not substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is for educational purposes only and does not replace therapy.