She had it all together on the outside — and inside, her mind never switched off.

Tammi Grossman spent 25 years in corporate leadership, 20 of them at director level, being the one everyone relied on: the one who figured it out, carried the load, kept everything moving at work and at home. From the outside, she had it handled. Underneath, she was exhausted and couldn't work out why.

In this conversation we get honest about the pattern so many high-achieving women are quietly running — the hypervigilance that gets rewarded as "dependable," the good-girl mask, the identities we keep wearing long after they stop fitting (Tammi calls them the winter coats you're still wearing in summer). We talk about why it isn't burnout or bad boundaries, it's a nervous system on alert — and what actually changes when you loosen the grip.

If you're the one who holds it all together, this one's for you.

About Tammi

Tammi is a certified coach trained in Neuro-Transformation Therapy (NTT) and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). She helps high-performing women understand the patterns driving that constant "what's next" and how to let go of the mental pressure — without everything falling apart — so they can lead, grow, and actually live in the life they've built.

Work with Tammi

If you recognised yourself in this conversation, Tammi offers a free Clarity Call — a space to get honest about what's going on underneath and what's ready to shift.

→ Book a Clarity Call with Tammi: https://calendly.com/lovingu-coaching/your-free-clarity-call

→ Find Tammi on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tammigrossman/

Curious what's quietly running your own business? Take the free "What's Blocking Me?" quiz — two minutes to name the pattern underneath.

→ https://selenawoodward.com/quiz

More from Selena:

→ Clarity Call: https://connect.selenawoodward.com/widget/booking/UWxBFU2rjuqRn8iYm0O4

→ The Inner Business Podcast: @BizCoachSelena

CHAPTERS

00:00 The woman who has it all together

00:38 If you recognise yourself…

01:10 "I couldn't turn it off"

01:27 What could be handled — the nervous system on alert

01:54 The closet: identities you're still wearing

02:38 Winter coats in summer

03:18 What her inner world actually looks like

04:27 The good-girl mask

05:08 What is a "high performing woman"?

05:42 The healthy version

06:32 It's a smoke alarm, not bad boundaries

07:20 Why these patterns feel like strengths

07:55 Am I having fun, or just successful?

08:27 Getting back what lights you up

08:59 Fire twirling

09:41 The power of choosing

10:12 Why "just relax" doesn't work

10:32 Letting go isn't lowering your standards

12:07 Caring vs. carrying

13:30 The first step you can take this week

14:23 Who she gets to be on the other side

15:23 Where to find Tammi