For decades, women have been told that if they just tried harder, they would finally “get it right.” Eat less. Work out more. Be more disciplined. Have more willpower.

But what if willpower isn’t the problem at all?

In this episode of Eat the Fucking Food, Kristin sits down with Dr. Kristine Gravino, licensed psychologist, integrative mental health specialist, and certified fitness and nutrition coach, to unpack why willpower is a myth and how mindset, not motivation, determines long-term success.

With over 24 years of clinical experience, Dr. G explains why women repeat the same health patterns year after year, why all-or-nothing thinking sabotages progress, and why the “bare minimum” might be your most powerful tool for sustainable change.

This conversation dives into nervous system regulation, identity shifts, emotional eating patterns, menopause mindset, and why trying harder keeps you stuck.

If you’re a midlife woman who feels exhausted by dieting, frustrated by inconsistency, or ashamed that you “can’t stick to it,” this episode will change the way you see yourself and your health journey.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

1. Why willpower is not the reason you’re struggling
2. How the brain protects you by pulling you back into old patterns
3. The psychology behind all-or-nothing thinking
4. Why the bare minimum builds real consistency
5. How identity work creates lasting health changes
6. Why habit change takes 6 months to 3 years, not 21 days
7. How to recognize unconscious self-sabotage thoughts
8. The connection between emotional eating, nervous system regulation, and stress
9. Why midlife women need to fuel, not restrict
10. How to break the cycle of “start over Monday”

We talk about:

1. 00:00 Why willpower is a myth
2. 02:00 How women are conditioned to believe they just need to try harder
3. 04:00 All-or-nothing thinking and perfectionism
4. 05:30 The power of the “bare minimum” mindset
5. 07:00 Why women struggle to prioritize themselves
6. 10:00 Small habits and consistency over overhaul
7. 13:00 How long real behavior change actually takes
8. 18:00 Recognizing self-sabotage patterns
9. 20:00 Nervous system regulation and emotional eating
10. 23:00 Breaking cycles around food, wine, and stress relief
11. 24:30 Letting go of restrictive calorie mindsets in midlife