LESSONS LEARNED

True stories. Questionable decisions. Premium laughter.

What do you get when a lifelong prankster, husband, dad, recovering lifeguard, and chaos magnet writes down everything he shouldn’t have survived? Lessons Learned—a laugh-out-loud collection of real-life misadventures where the only thing sharper than the punchlines are the life lessons that follow.

From inventing Taser Billiards in a friend’s garage (and accidentally discovering “electric English”), to hosting a toga party with a KY-lubed slip ’n slide, to waging a silent office war with a temper-prone boss (shout-out to the router’s blue cable and the “ARMAX” debacle), Tony turns everyday moments into comedy set pieces.

You’ll also meet:

• A dentist-office bathroom paparazzi that traumatizes a five-year-old.
• A pair of lifeguards locked in a restroom with only cleaning supplies and bad ideas.
• A caving trip saved by a mysterious voice, a deer with a vendetta, and a punk-show high note that squeaked its way into legend.

Perfect for fans of self-deprecating memoirs, prank-war chronicles, parenting chaos, and anyone who’s ever said, “Watch this.”

What you’ll learn (the hard way):

• Gravity is undefeated, but timing and duct tape put up a fight.
• Water + KY ≠ physics… it’s hyperdrive.
• Some bosses are best handled with patience, Brussel Sprouts, and plausible deniability.

About the Author

Tony lives in Upstate New York with his wife Jen, their kids, a flock of opinionated chickens, and an unreasonable amount of safety pins. When he’s not writing or plotting his next harmless prank, he’s collecting more material the universe insists on providing.

Open the book. Laugh, wince, nod in recognition—and walk away with a few Lessons Learned of your own.