『The Last Thing My Wife Asked Me To Do with Daniel Buckley #185』のカバーアート

The Last Thing My Wife Asked Me To Do with Daniel Buckley #185

The Last Thing My Wife Asked Me To Do with Daniel Buckley #185

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Daniel Buckley was thirty-two before he had a name for what was going on in his head. For as long as he could remember he had been restless, discontented, unable to sit still or hold his focus on anything that didn’t grip him - and he had simply assumed that was him. That was the way he was, and the way life was.His wife Simone saw it long before he did. For more than a decade she told him something wasn’t right, that he couldn’t rest, that he had no structure. He wasn’t ready to hear it. The day before she died, after years of illness, she went through his symptoms one by one and asked him to get help for his ADHD.Daniel tells Laura what happened next - the newspaper article that felt like a tap on the shoulder, the Irish clinics that never rang him back, the trip to England to be assessed at all. He is open about drinking to escape thoughts he had no other way of managing, about the day he stopped, and about the ordinary moment months later when he heard his son laughing outside an open window and realised he had never felt peace before. It’s also the story of what he built out of it: a service designed, in his words, to get people to a clinician in weeks rather than years.🔑 Key PointsHe spent thirty-two years assuming that was just who he wasRestless, discontented, unable to focus — Daniel had no framework for any of it until he was assessed at thirty-two.Simone saw it more than a decade before he accepted itHe only heard it the day before she died, when she went through his symptoms and asked him to get help.Undiagnosed ADHD and alcohol are closely linkedDaniel describes drinking to escape feelings he couldn’t regulate. He stopped in August 2022, so he could be the father his son deserved.There was no route to a diagnosis in IrelandPublic waiting lists ran to years, and not one of the private clinics he rang or emailed came back to him. He was assessed in England instead.He chose therapy and coaching over medicationHaving stopped drinking, he worked weekly on emotional regulation, learning to recognise emotions he’d never had names for.Peace arrived as an ordinary momentMonths after his diagnosis he heard his son laughing with friends through an open window and felt, for the first time, that he was all right.A diagnosis is a turning point, not an end pointThe piece of paper changes nothing on its own. What matters is the understanding and the support that come after it.He built the service he couldn’t findADHD Now offers access to a clinician within seven days and has grown to over a hundred clinicians across ADHD and autism care.📚 ResourcesADHD NowDaniel’s online ADHD assessment and support serviceAutismCareThe autism and AuDHD assessment service built alongside itADHD IrelandThe national charity, with support groups and informationSamaritans IrelandFree, confidential support, any time, on 116 123⏱️ Timestamps02:54 — Diagnosed at thirty-two, and the bottlenecks he hit03:38 — “That’s the way I am, that’s the way life is”04:24 — Illness, Joey’s arrival, and Simone going on dialysis07:33 — Drinking to escape, and the day he stopped09:38 — A decade of Simone telling him something was wrong10:05 — The day before she died: “please get help for your ADHD”11:45 — The newspaper article that felt like a tap on the shoulder12:23 — No one called back, so he went to England16:55 — “A diagnosis is not the end point. That’s the turning point.”19:35 — Hearing his son laugh, and feeling peace for the first time21:12 — The stranger outside the hospital who became his business partner40:00 — Advice for young people, and what he thinks life meansThanks for listening! You can watch the full episode on YouTube here. Don’t forget to follow The Laura Dowling Experience podcast on Instagram @lauradowlingexperience for updates and more information. You can also follow our host, Laura Dowling, @fabulouspharmacist for more insights and tips. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review—it really helps us out! Stay tuned for more great conversations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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