The best counsel skilled therapists give to those who want to help survivors of abuse: do no harm. In this episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne start there—with what survivors themselves want us to know. They name what abuse and victimization actually feel like from the inside, distinguish between the two with care, and explore what God says about those who have been harmed by the power of another. They point to Jesus—the One who entered oppression to free the oppressed—and to the compassionate, clear, and comforting care that follows His example.

“Captivated by captives—Jesus entered into oppression to free the oppressed.” —Episode Anchor

In this episode:

• The difference between abuse and victimization—and why the distinction shapes how we respond
• What abuse and victimization feel like from the inside: the shame, the confusion, the physical weight, the ‘honeymoon cycle’ that keeps people stuck
• Pattie shares from her experience at a counseling center specializing in traumatized missionaries—and the counsel that shaped her care
• Guests share what it was like to name what was happening—and what helped them find their voice
• What the Bible says about victims, perpetrators, and the God who distinguishes between them
• Three movements of care: compassion, clarity, and comfort
• Why the moment of leaving an abusive situation is the most dangerous—and what caregivers need to know

Resources mentioned:

• Domestic Abuse — Darby Strickland — available wherever books are sold
• Innocence Lost: Rebuilding After Victimization — David Powlison — available wherever books are sold
• The Emotionally Destructive Marriage — Leslie Vernick — available at leslievernick.com and wherever books are sold
• On the Threshold of Hope — Diane Langberg — available wherever books are sold
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets and additional resources
• Luke 4:18–19; Psalm 55:6–7; Psalm 56:8; Ezekiel 34:12, 22; Philippians 2:7–8; Hebrews 13:5 — biblegateway.com

If You Are in Danger

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. You do not have to figure this out alone—please reach out

If Someone You Know is in Danger

• If someone discloses active abuse or is in immediate danger: ask directly, ‘Are you safe right now?’ If there is immediate danger, call 911.
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453

Abuse cases require professional and legal support alongside pastoral care. Connect with a pastor, licensed counselor, and where relevant, legal authorities. Do not carry this alone—and do not let others carry it alone.

For Further Support

If this episode surfaced wounds you have been carrying—whether recent or long ago—you are not alone. What was done to you was not your fault. Healing is possible, and it begins with speaking to someone safe. Consider reaching out to a trusted pastor, licensed counselor, or one of the resources above. Asking for help is not weakness. It is one of the bravest things a person can do.