『How's Your Ma: Episode 15』のカバーアート

How's Your Ma: Episode 15

How's Your Ma: Episode 15

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In this episode of How's Your Ma?, hosts Orla and Leanne sit down with engaged couple Cathal and Rebecca, founders of the awareness project Different Minds, Same Heart (Project DMs). Based in County Westmeath and set to marry in February 2028, Cathal and Rebecca open up about discovering they were both neurodivergent, and how they're using their wedding journey to spark conversations around autism, ADHD, and mental health.Cathal shares his story of being flagged for autism as a child, being placed in a "special class," years of being misunderstood, and eventually getting an official autism diagnosis in his mid-20s — plus how martial arts and MMA became an outlet for him growing up. Rebecca talks about masking as the "good kid," a burnout at 21 that led to a borderline personality disorder misdiagnosis, and finally getting her ADHD and (likely) Asperger's diagnosis just months before this recording. Together they discuss self-diagnosis and TikTok, complex trauma vs. neurodivergence, sensory sensitivities (fireworks, balloons, noise), medication and therapy (including EMDR), how they met on Plenty of Fish, and their plans for an accessible, sensory-friendly wedding.A warm, honest conversation about masking, late diagnosis, family reactions, and building a life — and a wedding — around acceptance.Time Codes / Chapters00:00 – Intro: meet Cathal & Rebecca, Different Minds Same Heart, their February 2028 wedding00:53 – Why they're using their wedding as a platform for awareness01:56 – Five tips for a neurodivergent-friendly wedding (itinerary sharing, sensory needs, no balloons/fireworks)04:11 – Cathal's childhood: flagged for autism at school, placed in a "special class"05:16 – Family and teachers noticing signs early on06:16 – Complex PTSD, years of being told to "go get tested"06:57 – Official diagnosis: autism, and the ADHD misdiagnosis question08:02 – Getting diagnosed at 26 — "it answered everything"10:11 – Telling his parents; his late father's likely undiagnosed autism10:55 – Growing up in an era of "special classes" and harmful labels12:18 – How casual stigma and slurs shaped attitudes toward disability decades ago14:39 – Introducing Rebecca's story — "the flip side"15:11 – Masking as a "people pleaser" and perfectionist as a child15:54 – Burnout in her early 20s, leaving work due to anxiety and depression18:41 – GP visit, misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder19:56 – Discovering ADHD through social media — "it's like they read my mind"20:20 – How ADHD presents differently in girls vs. boys21:24 – Barriers to diagnosis in Ireland — cost, waitlists, GP process22:02 – Being the eldest child navigating this alone24:09 – Getting the official diagnosis and the sense of validation25:40 – Assessment reveals likely Asperger's too26:24 – Cathal coming off complex-PTSD medication — the hard withdrawal28:20 – Discussing therapy, EMDR, and access/cost barriers to services30:33 – What ADHD medication actually does (and doesn't do) for Rebecca33:28 – Neurodivergence in their wider families34:42 – Childhood trauma vs. ADHD — how they can look alike35:37 – Self-diagnosis, TikTok, and the difference between traits and being "on the spectrum"39:39 – How Cathal and Rebecca matched on Plenty of Fish41:06 – Their first date story (and the chiropractor mix-up)44:13 – Shared interests: wrestling, superhero movies, staying playful46:53 – Friends' reactions to their diagnoses48:02 – Sensory sensitivities: balloons, fireworks, noise-cancelling ear defenders49:46 – Introducing Project DMs (Different Minds, Same Heart) and its mission51:10 – Fighting online stigma and misinformation around neurodivergence54:00 – Their relationship story — moving in together, saying "I love you"55:04 – Wedding details: February 2028, County Louth, rustic barn venue56:21 – Cathal's MMA and boxing background — coaching, sensory overload in the cage1:01:01 – Rebecca's childhood hobbies — sports, Westlife, wrestling, John Cena1:02:12 – Closing reflections on labels, masking, and acceptance1:03:37 – Where to find Project DMs and how to get involved1:04:51 – Final thoughts and sign-off
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