Some feelings are really hard to sit with. Like when you feel scared at bedtime. Or upset after another bad night. Or worried about how tomorrow will go.

When a feeling like this shows up, we want to push it away fast. That makes sense. But here is the thing: pushing it away does not work. Most of the time, fighting a feeling just makes it bigger.

So let's try something else. Instead of pushing the feeling away, we are going to turn toward it. I know that sounds strange. Stay with me. It helps.

Try these three easy steps

Next time a hard feeling shows up, try these three steps. You can do them in the middle of the night. You can do them during the day. Anytime works.

Step one: Notice it.

First, name what you feel. Are you scared? Sad? Worried? Then find where you feel it in your body. Feelings do not just live in your head. They live in your body too.

Maybe your chest feels tight. Maybe your belly feels heavy. Maybe your shoulders feel tense. Where do you feel it? Take a second and find the spot.

Step two: Say it out loud.

Now say what you feel. You can say it in your head or out loud. Try something like, "I feel worried right now." If you feel more than one thing, name them all.

This might seem too simple to matter. But it really helps. When you put a name on a feeling, it gets a little easier to handle. That is not just a nice idea. Studies show it works.

Step three: Let it be there.

This is the hard part. Let the feeling stay. Do not try to make it go away. Just let it be what it is.

See if you can soften your body a little. Try to be gentle and curious about the feeling, like you are just looking at it.

You do not have to like it. You just let it be there. Stay with it as long as it feels okay.

Here is what matters. The goal is not to make the feeling disappear. The goal is to let it be there without fighting it. When you stop fighting, you suffer less.

Remember this when a feeling feels like it will last forever

When you are stuck in a hard feeling, it can feel like it will never end. Being scared makes you think you will feel scared forever. Being sad makes tomorrow look dark.

But here is the truth. Feelings do not last forever. They come, and they go. They always have.

Watch your own feelings for a while, and you will see this is true. The feeling that feels stuck right now will change.

When you let a feeling be there instead of fighting it, it can move through you faster. Fighting keeps it stuck. Letting it be helps it pass.

You do not have to just sit and feel all day

Letting a feeling be there does not mean you sit and feel it all day long. That is not the point.

You can still do the things that matter to you, even when a hard feeling is with you. You can carry the feeling and still live your life. In fact, that is one of the best things you can do.

The big picture

Here is what ties it all together. Hard feelings do not last forever. And bad nights do not last forever either. Some days will be hard. Some might even feel hopeless.

But nothing stays the same. The hard nights pass. The heavy feelings lift. The tired days turn into better ones.

So when things feel really hard, hold on to this. You will find a way. And things will change. They always do.

If you want help applying this, want to recover from insomnia for good, and want me to keep you personally accountable until you do, start your 7-day FREE trial of the End Insomnia Program on Skool.

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I've now coached 100s like you to end their insomnia for good, 100% naturally, by fixing the root cause - hyperarousal.