『Pants』のカバーアート

Pants

Pants

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Who was the very first person to ever wear pants? Buckle up, because we're ending season one the only way we know how — by screaming about leg tubes. Picture some chilly, bare-legged ancestor staring down at the two perfectly good limbs flapping in the wind and going "what if. Now hear me out. What if I trapped each one. In its own personal fabric tunnel." TWO tunnels. A waist sationation holding it all together. A garment so unhinged it took over the entire planet. Was it warmth? Was it modesty? Was it a man who got tired of riding horses and crying? Did the village laugh him out of town before every single one of them quietly, shamefully, slid into their own pair of leg tubes? WE DON'T KNOW. We didn't look it up. We have not looked up a single thing all season and we are not about to start at the finale.

This is it. The end. Twelve episodes of two men confidently inventing the history of everything, and we're going out on PANTS — and we wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for riding this fever dream with us. Keep those "who did it first?" questions coming, because we are absolutely doing this again, and we will be exactly this wrong next time too.

Season one: complete. Nothing learned. Everything claimed.

100% unverified. As always.

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