In this episode of Between Two Psychs, we explore a growing and important area of understanding within education and psychology autism in girls.

Drawing directly from our reflections in practice, we talk about why this conversation feels relatively recent, and why so many girls have historically gone unseen. Much of what professionals were trained to recognise was based on more stereotypical presentations. In this episode, we challenge ourselves to look again.

A central theme in our discussion is masking.

We reflect on how many girls develop strong language skills and learn social scripts that help them blend in at school. On the surface, things can look settled and successful. Yet when we triangulate with home, a very different picture can emerge exhaustion, anxiety, emotional overwhelm and behaviours that seem to “appear” only outside of the classroom.

We explore the idea of cognitive demand not just academically, but socially and emotionally. For many girls, navigating friendships, reading social nuance and maintaining control in uncertain situations carries a significant invisible load.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• Why autism in girls is often missed in school settings
• The role of masking and social scripting
• Differences between school presentation and home presentation
• How imaginative play can appear typical while still being repetitive underneath
• The cumulative cognitive and emotional demand girls may be managing

We also move into practical support.

We talk about the importance of triangulation between school and home, noticing subtle patterns in play and interaction, and strengthening identity rather than focusing solely on social correction.

Practical approaches discussed include:

• Lego therapy to develop perspective-taking
• Social stories and comic strip conversations
• Emotional intelligence interventions such as The Transporters
• The homunculi (CBT-based avatar) approach
• Regular strengths-based reflections using “I noticed…” language

A key message we return to is simple:

Autistic practice is good practice.

When we prioritise communication, emotional literacy, predictability and identity, we improve outcomes not only for autistic girls, but for all children.

Why This Episode Matters

If we only look for loud or stereotypical presentations, we risk missing girls who are quietly coping until they can no longer sustain it.

This episode encourages us to look beneath the surface, to question assumptions and to recognise that behaviour is often a strategy for managing uncertainty and demand.

Understanding autism in girls requires curiosity, reflection and collaboration and this conversation is part of that ongoing shift.

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: ridgewaypsychology.co.uk

LinkedIn: Michael Lane

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Instagram: @dradammcartney

Website: dradammccartney.com

YouTube: @Dr.AdamMcCartney