Anxiety isn’t a malfunction to be silenced; it’s a message asking to be heard. We sit down with therapist and educator Catherine Deeks Nocki to rethink fear through the lenses of evolution, mindfulness-based psychotherapy, and Japanese ikigai—revealing how anxiety can guide you back to your values and toward a life that actually fits.

Catherine breaks down the nervous system in plain language: anxiety mobilizes the sympathetic “protect” response, while empathy and connection restore the parasympathetic “recover” state. We trace how early defenses like fawning or avoidance become adult habits, why shame can freeze growth, and how healthy guilt, curiosity, and self-compassion help us update old patterns. Catherine shares insights from her research on anxiety and empathy among university students, why these traits can rise together in demanding environments, and how lived experience of suffering often deepens compassion.

From there, we get practical. We map values-based therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Self-Determination Theory into simple steps: clarify values, spot triggers, name roles, and take small, repeatable actions that honor who you are. We explore ikigai as everyday meaning—not a grand purpose but a daily feeling found in small rituals, mindful walks, shared meals, and moments of real connection. Ibasho, a sense of belonging you can carry anywhere, becomes the anchor for authenticity across life’s roles. Along the way, two mantras keep us grounded: thoughts are not facts, and anxiety is your friend.

If you’re ready to replace reflex with awareness and turn fear into direction, this conversation offers science, story, and tools you can use today. Listen, share with someone who needs it, and if it resonated, subscribe and leave a review so more people can find the show.