This episode (#315) challenges the common illusion that visible recovery behaviors—meetings, therapy, sobriety streaks—automatically equal real change. Using a devastating listener submission as the catalyst, we explain why relapse after “recovery” often hurts partners more deeply than early betrayal: by that point, the addict knows the harm and still chooses it. We distinguish reactive recovery (driven by panic, fear, and consequences) from real recovery (driven by identity change, courage, and internal ownership), emphasizing that activity without transformation inevitably collapses.

We then walk through the core barriers that block lasting change. These include terror of life without addiction, denial of full impact, unresolved trauma and powerlessness, attachment to the emotional rewards addiction provides, fear of standing fully in the light through accountability, and the belief that recovery is undeserved. Each barrier keeps addicts circling recovery without fully entering it—checking boxes while protecting the very patterns that sustain addiction.

Ultimately, we argue that half-recovery is more dangerous than no recovery at all because it creates false safety and repeated devastation. Real change requires dismantling the lies addicts tell themselves about who they are, what they need, and what they deserve. True recovery is not about avoiding loss or appeasing a partner—it is about becoming someone fundamentally different. Until addicts are willing to face these internal blocks head-on, the cycle will continue. But when they do, real and lasting change becomes possible.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: No Bullsh*T—What's ACTUALLY Blocking an Addict's TRUE Change?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services