Whatever I Do, It’s Never Enough, with Mordy Gottlieb
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In this episode, we talk to Mordy Gottlieb, a men’s therapist whose work - and life - has been shaped by one quiet, corrosive belief: “Whatever I do, it’s never enough.”
Mordy shares how perfection became his survival strategy as a child and how striving without self-compassion led to years of numbing, self-criticism, and chasing relief through behaviours that slowly escalated rather than resolved the pain.
What makes this conversation different is its honesty about how these patterns actually form, starting with food, moving into pornography and other forms of escape, and eventually colliding with midlife reality when effort stops working, and avoidance stops providing relief.
Rather than framing men’s behaviours as addictions or failures, Mordy explains them as attempts to regulate unbearable internal pressure and why insight alone rarely changes anything. The real shift, he argues, comes through experience, practice, and safe connection, especially with other men.
This episode also challenges some uncomfortable truths: why being “strong” often means being emotionally absent, why vulnerability isn’t just talking, and why many men feel unseen even inside long-term relationships they’ve spent years sustaining.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
- How the belief “I’m never enough” gets wired into boys early on
- Why perfectionism feels productive but leads to exhaustion and shame
- How numbing behaviours escalate quietly over time
- Why midlife is often the moment men can’t outrun themselves anymore
- The limits of talk therapy and why knowing why isn’t the same as changing
- How experiential therapy helps men rehearse real-world change
- Why men often heal faster in groups than one-to-one
- What vulnerability actually looks like in daily life (including learning to say no)
- Small, realistic ways to introduce play, presence, and self-permission back into life
Why this episode matters:
Because if you’ve ever felt that no matter how much you give - at work, at home, in relationships - it’s still not enough, this conversation will feel uncomfortably familiar. Mordy doesn’t offer fixes or slogans. He offers language for something many men have lived with for decades without naming.
To find out more Mordy, visit his website: www.thegamechangergroup.com.