Strength, Softness & Surviving 100% of Your Worst Days with Jaimie Alexander
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In this episode of The Right Room, Hilary sits down with actor and writer Jaimie Alexander for the kind of conversation that usually never leaves the living room.
What begins as a story about Jaimie learning to swim in her 40s quickly opens into something much deeper: identity, recovery, grief, and what it means to build a life when the old markers of “success” start to fall away. Jaimie shares candidly about growing up in chaos, becoming a wrestler in high school, being cast again and again as the “tough girl,” and how those roles both protected her and kept her from her own softness.
Together, Hilary and Jaimie explore how addiction, sobriety, and stoicism reshaped Jaimie’s life; how she moved from hypervigilance to a sense of inner safety; and why she now prays not for specific outcomes, but simply for the strength to endure what comes. They talk about service over shame, collective responsibility instead of collective guilt, and Jaimie’s work with women who are incarcerated — listening to stories most people turn away from.
You’ll hear Jaimie’s powerful reframes on failure, control, and comparison, her belief that “if life were fair, there would be no miracles,” and the reminder that if you’re still here, you’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far.
If you’re in a hallway season — between identities, navigating divorce, early recovery, or some unnamed transition — this conversation will feel like a hand on your back, walking with you toward what’s next.
We explore:
- Learning to swim later in life as a metaphor for trying scary new things
- Addiction, sobriety, and why “what happened” isn’t the whole story of who we are
- Stoicism, acceptance, and praying for strength instead of specific outcomes
- Moving from hypervigilance and control into inner safety and feminine softness
- Service without saviorism: collective responsibility vs. collective guilt
- How to stop using our past as an excuse and start using it in service to others
- The truth that you’ve survived 100% of your hardest days — and what that means for your next chapter
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What if the shift you’ve been longing for isn’t somewhere out there, but already stirring inside you?
For the woman in an in-between season—my 1:1 mentorship creates the space to hear your own voice again, reconnect with what matters, and move forward with clarity and grounded confidence. When life calls you toward a deeper truth, you don’t have to navigate it alone. If it resonates, you can begin at HilaryPhelps.com.