488 Rules for Life is Kitty Flanagan's way of making the world a more pleasant place to live.

Providing you with the antidote to every annoying little thing, these rules are not made to be broken. 488 Rules for Life is not a self-help book, because it's not you who needs help, it's other people. Whether they're walking and texting, asphyxiating you on public transport with their noxious perfume cloud, or leaving one useless square of toilet paper on the roll, a lot of people just don't know the rules.

But thanks to Kitty Flanagan's comprehensive guide to modern behaviour, our world will soon be a much better place. A place where people don't ruin the fruit salad by putting banana in it … where your co-workers respect your olfactory system and don't reheat their fish curry in the office microwave … where middle aged men don't have ponytails.

Other rules to live by include:

1. Men must wear shorts over leggings

The gym is no place for people to discover whether or not you are circumcised. That’s a private discussion for another place and time.

2. Team bonding activities should be optional

Some people love it when management decides that an afternoon of bowling or paintballing or (god forbid) karaoke will help everyone work better as a team. Others would rather be dead.

3. Don’t ever mention your ‘happy place’

To me, this sounds less like a pleasant, fun state of mind and more like some kind of utopian wank palace you’ve had built in the basement.

What started as a personal joke is now a quintessential reference book with the power to change society. (Or, at least, make it a bit less irritating.)