We talk about the “always on” culture - phones, pings, and pressure to reply instantly - and how it hijacks presence, deep focus, and self-worth. From family group chats and school apps to work Slack and late-night DMs, we explore why constant accessibility feels normal (and even “kind”), how it fuels anxiety and perfectionism, and simple, compassionate boundaries that let you choose when you’re available. The goal isn’t a digital detox; it’s digital boundaries - so you can be in your life, not just in your inbox.

• The speed of living: Instant everything (messages, info, shopping, streaming) creates a false “high capacity” expectation - and a nervous system on edge
• Responsiveness ≠ reliability: We unpack why replying fast has been confused with being caring, competent, or “on it.”
• Home + work spillover: From school apps to after-hours Slack—why the lack of pause multiplies the mental load.
• Kids, teens, and phones: Read receipts, comparison, and the pressure to respond—how we’re coaching our kids (and ourselves).
• Addiction loops: The comfort of holding the phone, the “just one more app” cycle, and how partial attention keeps us revved.
• Research we reference: Constant interruptions erode focus and increase anxiety; it takes real time to refocus after a ping.

• You don’t owe anyone constant access. Your worth isn’t measured in response times.
• Pause beats panic. Waiting to reply often leads to calmer, kinder, clearer responses.
• Make one small boundary today: 10–15 phone-free minutes (or an hour if you can). Notice the twitch, boredom, or urge—beneath it is calm.
• Say it out loud: “No rush to reply.” Model it and people mirror it.
• Choose your pockets of presence: After breakfast before checking, or phone charging in the kitchen at night.
• Remember: Reliability is showing up when it matters, not being instantly available.
  
  
  

Tell us your favourite digital boundary. Do you have phone-free time? Do read receipts stress you out? Feel free DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod, or leave us a voicemail - we may feature your thoughts in a future episode.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
We dive into that sticky space between empathy and exhaustion—the moment a caring friend becomes the “emotional sponge” (hello, emotional vampires 👀). We talk about invisible emotional labour, midlife capacity, Catholic/learned guilt, and why stepping back isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect. We share how chronic one-way “offloading” keeps both people stuck, and how gentle, clear boundaries help everyone grow.

Key Discussion Points

• Monologue vs. conversation: the red flag of constant offloading with no pause, curiosity, or reciprocity
• Invisible labour is real: the listener/soother role is invaluable - and often unseen.
• Self-worth & caregiving: when your value is tied to being “the strong one,” pulling back can trigger guilt
• Outsourcing processing: how repeated dumping keeps others in a holding pattern (and drains you)
• Quiet boundaries: reply when you have capacity, slow the response loop, name your limits kindly.
• Love ≠ carrying it all: you can care deeply without being the emotional crutch.

Listener Takeaways

• Notice your body’s cues: if you dread the message or feel depleted after chats, a boundary is needed.
• Ask the reciprocity question: do they ever ask how you are—and stay to hear the answer?
• Try a gentle reset: “I want to support you, but I don’t always have the emotional energy to take everything on.”
• Delay is a boundary: respond when you have capacity, not on read-receipt guilt.
• Guilt ≠ wrongdoing: it often shows up when you’re doing something new and healthier.
• Protect your peace: empathy with boundaries prevents burnout—and keeps relationships honest.

Join the Conversation
Tell us your story on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note -we’d love to hear how you navigate this. Share this episode with the friend who’s always “the strong one.”

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

Feeling stretched thin, foggy, or quietly burning out? You’re not alone. In this episode, we get honest about that midlife feeling of running on empty - when hormones, deadlines, and daily demands leave you wondering how it’s all sustainable.

Inspired by Dame Patricia Routledge’s beautiful reflection before her 95th birthday, we talk about what it really means to bloom again. From her role as Hyacinth “Bouquet” to her later-life creativity and peace, her words remind us that it’s never too late to come home to ourselves.

We explore how midlife isn’t a decline but a recalibration - a shedding, softening, and rediscovering of what truly matters. Whether you’re exhausted, in transition, or simply questioning who you are without the noise, this conversation is a reminder that growth doesn’t stop. It just changes form.

Key Discussion Points

• The emotional exhaustion that sits “behind your eyes” - and why so many of us feel it.
• Dame Patricia Routledge’s wisdom on fear, timelines, and finding peace later in life.
• Landing Hyacinth Bucket at 50 - how the role healed something in her.
• Learning Italian at 60 and painting at 80 - the joy of growth without goals.
• The freedom of “nothing to prove” and why midlife can be the age of authenticity.
• Shifting from “How do I get back to who I was?” to “Who am I becoming?”
  
  

Listener Takeaways

• Midlife isn’t the end - it’s a reset. A time to recalibrate, soften, and listen to your own rhythm.
• Growth doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes it’s found in stillness, in joy, in doing things just for you.
• You’re never too late. There’s no timeline for blooming — it can happen at 40, 60, or 95.
• Start small. Learn something new for fun, say no without guilt, or simply sit in quiet presence.
• There’s no race to become who you’re meant to be. The timeline you were taught to follow isn’t real - you’re allowed to bloom later, slower, and differently than you expected.
• Peace isn’t found in perfection. It begins the moment you stop performing and start listening to who you are underneath the noise.

Join the Conversation

What does blooming again look like for you right now? Is it softening, starting over, or rediscovering joy in the ordinary?
Send us a DM or voice note - we’d love to hear your reflections.

If this episode gave you hope or made you pause, share it with a friend who might need the reminder that it’s never too late to bloom again.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this episode we sit down with Kate Daly, co-founder of Amicable, to explore how self-worth, identity, and personal growth are intertwined with relationships - and what happens when those relationships end.

Kate shares her wisdom from years of supporting couples through separation and co-parenting, offering a compassionate reframe: divorce isn’t a failure - it’s a change in how a family operates so everyone can thrive.

Together, we talk about how easily self-worth becomes tied to roles - wife, mother, partner, provider - and what it means to reclaim a sense of identity beyond them. From people-pleasing and invisible labour to fear, shame, and rebuilding from the ground up, this is a deeply human, empowering look at what it means to rediscover yourself after loss.

Key Discussion Points

• How self-worth gets tied to our roles — and what happens when those roles change.
• The invisible load women carry and why it’s still undervalued.
• Reframing divorce as courage, not failure.

Listener Takeaways

• Divorce doesn’t erase your worth — it reveals it.
• You’re more than your role or relationship.
• Pause, breathe, and ground before you react.

AMICABLE LINKS

(2) Instagram

(25) amicable: Overview | LinkedIn

(1256) amicable divorce - YouTube

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced a time when your sense of worth was tied to your role in a relationship? Or found strength in rebuilding after a separation? Message us via the links below!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
In a world that feels louder and busier than ever, finding peace can feel impossible - especially for introverts who need quiet to recharge.

In this episode, we sit down with Vanessa Marie Dewsbury, best selling author and podcaster, who opens up about how she embraced a slower, softer way of living after years of tying her self-worth to busyness. We talk about why stillness is essential for our mental and emotional health, how introverts can protect their energy in an extroverted world, and why learning to say no (without guilt!) is one of the greatest acts of self-care.

This conversation is a permission slip to pause, breathe, and reconnect with yourself - even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day.

More About Vanessa:

As well as being a best selling author, podcaster, and advocate for those wanting to embrace their quiet nature. She follows the path true to her heart rather than conforming to societal expectations. Through her journey of healing and growth, she has discovered the profound importance of trusting her voice and living in alignment with her deepest beliefs and values. Through her work, Vanessa encourages others to honor their authentic selves and cultivate confidence in their unique way of being. You can connect with Vanessa on Instagram @soulalivebarrie or on Facebook at Vanessa Marie Dewsbury.

You can grab Vanessa’s book, Living A Quiet Life: Daily Reflections for Peace, Purpose and Personal Growth.

Books Links:

US:

https://a.co/d/aOr4bvF

CA:

https://a.co/d/bWSKpSP

UK:

https://amzn.eu/d/9SKPMJL

AU:

https://amzn.asia/d/dFVCzM

Join the Conversation

Have you tried slowing down and living more intentionally? What helps you recharge when life feels overwhelming? We’d love to hear your thoughts - drop us a DM or a voicenote @youkeepmesane.pod

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins about what’s weighing on us, what we’re learning, and how we’re holding it all together.

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

We’re revisiting connection - and layering in self-worth. We talk about why these two are inseparable, how midlife logistics (kids, caregiving, energy, perimenopause) change how we connect, and what to do when loneliness starts to chip at your worth. We share real stories of moving “home” and still feeling out of place, rebuilding identity, and redefining what counts as connection so it nourishes (not drains) you.

• The loop between worth and connection: shaky worth makes us hide; disconnection then lowers worth further.
• Loneliness ≠ unworthiness: it’s a signal, not a verdict - and why vulnerability (admitting “I feel lonely”) often unlocks support.
• Redefining connection: letting small touchpoints (a meme, a voice note, a 15-minute coffee) count.
• Letting go to make room: grieving old forms of connection so new, right-sized ones can grow.
• Self-connection first: anchoring in “who I am now” to choose connections that affirm your worth.
  
  
  

• Name it: “I feel lonely” is not a flaw.
• Start small: one message, one invite, one walk-and-talk - it all counts.
• Stop pegging your worth to a social calendar.
• Choose people and formats that leave you feeling more you.
• Vulnerability (“this is where I’m at”) often brings people closer.

Did this resonate? Share the episode with a friend who might need a nudge to reach out. DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note. Tell us: What’s one small way you’ll connect this week - with yourself or someone else?

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
Being honest with yourself sounds simple - but it’s one of the hardest things to do. Because when we drop the excuses and really look at our patterns, it often means admitting we’re the problem. And that truth stings.

In this Sanity Check, we explore the discomfort of self-honesty, why we avoid it, and how facing it can shift everything-from relationships to careers to daily habits.

Key Discussion Points

• Why being honest with yourself feels so uncomfortable.
• How excuses protect us from change.
• Everyday examples of self-deception (lateness, relationships, careers, friendships).
• The role of self-worth in facing the gap between who we think we are and how we actually show up.
• Why honesty isn’t failure - it’s awareness and the key to growth.
  
  

Listener Takeaways

• Excuses may protect you from discomfort, but they also keep you stuck.
• Self-honesty shines a light on patterns you can actually change.
• Facing uncomfortable truths is what creates real growth and freedom.
  
  

Join the Conversation

What truth are you avoiding right now? Where might you be telling yourself a story because the real answer feels uncomfortable?

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to DM us or send us a voice note. We love hearing from you.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

This week we get honest about “the grass is greener” mindset - why we pin our happiness on a new place, job, or relationship, and what changes when we stop outsourcing contentment. We share our own stories of chasing locations (Spain, Europe, Australia), the let-down that followed, and the shift to building an inner baseline of self-worth, gratitude, and presence. The takeaway: greener grass isn’t a postcode - it’s a perspective you carry with you.

• Location as identity: How tying worth to a city/country kept us restless - and what happened when the shine wore off.
• Hedonic adaptation: Why the high of “new” fades and we start craving the next thing.
• Comparison traps: Social media and “other people’s lives” that subtly drive our desires.
• The big confrontation: Realising “wherever you go, you take you” (and all your patterns) with you.
• Gratitude as an anchor: Practising daily appreciation to feel fuller where you are.
• Choosing from fullness: Dreaming and moving are still allowed - just not to fix you.
  
  
  

• Name the feeling you’re chasing. Is it freedom, belonging, purpose, adventure, peace? Explore ways to create that feeling here (e.g., new routine, community, hobby, micro-adventures).
• Do the “under-my-feet” audit. List 5 things that are working right now - people, habits, places, tiny joys.
• Gratitude rep: 3 items, daily. Keep it simple and specific (today’s sky, a text from a friend, a warm cup of tea).
• Comparison check: Limit the scroll that triggers “move/flee” urges; follow accounts that ground you.
• Self-worth prompt: “If I believed I was enough as I am, would I still need this change to feel okay?”
• If you still want the move: Great - plan it from stability, not scarcity. Make a values-based list of what the change must support.
  
  
  

What’s the “greener grass” you’ve been eyeing—and what feeling is underneath it? Tell us in a DM or voice note. If this episode helped, please follow, rate, and share it with a friend who needs a reframe today.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.